Bring Back the Chorizo

Shiver Me Timbers

2006-08-28T23:44:00.000-05:00

Minnesota's North Shore is a site to see. I will definitely have to post pictures up on my flickr when they are all processed, and that's really the only way to describe it. I can preliminarily try using the five senses here as a template, but whatever I write is probably going to come across as being completely bogus.

Sight - More stars then I had ever seen in my life. Tall white trees that look dead. The first refers to the sky on a clear night. The second the Superior National Forest. Crystal clear water.

Sound - Sometimes nothing. That is the craziest thing. Sometimes some crickets or bullfrogs or rushing water, but sometimes nothing. Also, a rainstorm hitting our tent.

Smell - Fresh. Occasionally flowers. No salt in the air here although sometimes it feels like there should be.

Taste - Zesty vegetable soup at the Angry Trout Cafe in Grand Marais (recommend highly). Warm, gooey banana, chocolate, marshmallow campfiery mix.

Feel - Cold Lake Superior water numbing bare feet being massaged by smooth, pressing round rocks below. Burning in quads after mistakenly hiking an estimated 16-18 miles one afternoon. Map was not to scale.

Unfortunately, camping left me with a pretty bad cold, and adding that to a fairly busy week at work has prohibited me from posting. It took several days to regain strength and quite a few evenings of 8 to 10 pm turn-ins. One of my call nights last week I would have to describe as trying.

I came to a fairly amazing observation the other day at work, when thinking about the fact that one of my patients drove in from Bismarck, North Dakota for emergency treatment. They didn't have the kind of pediatric subspecialist that they needed over there in Bismarck. In fact, there doesn't even exist that type of doctor in all of North Dakota. The Twin Cities were the closest thing and that completely blows my mind.

I had a similar sort of revelation when driving out to the North Shore with Bullshot. About 45 minutes into the journey, I realized that my gasoline indicator had turned on and started looking for an exit. No exit for about 8 minutes. And we were just outside of the Twin Cities. It's hard for me to wrap my head around that.

I haven't played fantasy football for about 3 years now, I've recently joined a league, and the prospect scares me. My usual finishes in a league of 12 is usually around 4, finishing as high as 2 and as low as 8. I've never been really bad, but also never tasted the Bacchalian fruits of pigskin glory (Bud Light).

Sometimes, the single hardest thing about playing fantasy football is picking a team name. For me, though, the whole thing was pretty easy this time, and since I was limited to 20 characters, I knew that my team name would have to be JeromeBettisBBQSauce. The fun thing about picking this name is that it gave me the opportunity to revisit some of my favorite Pittsburgh sports icons' foods of past. I know I've posted this before, but its just too hard for me to resist.

1997
(Jaromir) Jagr creamy peanut butter
(Darius) Kasparaitis Krunchers Russian-style dill pickles
(Jerome) Bettis "The Bus" barbecue sauce

1998
(Jerome) Bettis "The Bus" peanut butter
(Jerome) Bettis "The Bus" salsa
(Jerome) Bettis "The Bus" pickles

1999
(Jason) Kendall Krunch cereal

2000
(Brian) Giles No Guts No Glory sports drink

2001
Lynn Swann's Super 88 cereal

2002
Hines Ward 86 steak sauce

2003
Tommy Gun cereal (Tommy Maddox)
Tommy Gun barbecue sauce (Tommy Maddox)in two flavors, original and mesquite

2004
Big Ben's beef jerky (original and teriyaki)

As you can see, both peanut butter and BBQ Sauce are popular items in Pittsburgh. Its great to have football season back.

I'll have to figure out where my Wildcat watching station will be this fall. Tomorrow I will have to call around to see who'll be playing, or who'll be willing to play, the ESPNU Thursday night showdown. Today, absent-mindedly, I almost scheduled an evening to watch "Little Miss Sunshine" Thursday night. As a Cats fans, I'm pretty a disappointed in myself. A near miss this time, perhaps a fatal mistake sometime in the future.

Lastly, I'm yet to figure out a good sleep schedule for myself post-call. Basically, I am on-call in the hospital every fourth night (after working the day before), and then am required to leave by 1pm the next afternoon. Saturday I was on call, didn't sleep, and then came home on Sunday at about noon. I thought about sleeping through the afternoon, but initially on the way home I ran into a friend on the street and we chatted for a while. This totally fired me up. It was a gorgeous day so I went for a walk. Then I came home and watched "High School Musical". I later watched "Pirates of the Caribbean". So, then I didn't end up sleeping yesterday afternoon either. I crashed at about nine and just couldn't get up with my alarm at six. I think I need a better plan than this.

"High School Musical" is a great movie and highly recommend it to anyone who can appreciate genre excellence. "Stick to What You Know".

Baseball Camping Baseball

2006-08-17T21:40:00.000-05:00

I want to talk a little bit about process. The process involved in manufacturing a blogger post. (Fred Rogers, please start Picture Picture). The way I am doing these things nowadays is totally different than how I ever did them in the past. It's fresha and unique. I write little bits at a time, and only publish when I reach a critical content mass. My content required threshold is pretty low, but still high enough that it usually takes me several attempts to finish a post. I use the 'save as draft' as a key ally in this whole process.

Yesterday our pediatric ward was graced by a visit from Twins second baseman Nick Punto and backup catcher Mike Redmond. This created the largest stir with the nurses on the floor, who from a safe distance took a liking to Mr. Punto, the second largest stir came from some of the Twin Citizen fathers on the floor, and the third largest stir came collectively from all of the sick children. Punto and Redmond were chatting with the kids for a bit, and made sure they double autographed the bills of some Twins hats they had brought along. Unfortunately, they stationed themselves in the glass playroom which is a doctor free zone, and I wasn't able to get anything more than a nod while I was walking by. If you think about it, though, a nod from some big leaguers while you are working is pretty cool. Usually its us watching them work. Oh, how fast the tables turn!

This morning I went into the room to visit of one of my 16 year old patients. He has discovered that his room has wireless Internet and has started networking games of some derivative of War Craft that he has installed on his computer. He has also discovered that the curtain can completely enclose his bed into a mini war-zone, and so he has gone ahead in creating mission control, shutting the curtain and any sense of reality that might be present. After sneaking into the war-zone HQ this morning, I noticed one of the Minneota TC hats sitting on his chair. I remarked how awesome it was that all the kids had a chance to meet some of the players yesterday. He looked up for but a brief second, said that it was pretty cool, but that he couldn't really remember who he had met. Basically, his sentiment was, "whatevs". He then resumed playing his War Craft derivative game.

I discoverd that going to work isn't so bad when you sleep over every fourth night. The thought is that for every four days that you work, you only have to physically drive there and drive home three times. These makes days, weeks, and even months seem like they are flying by in hours, minutes, or even seconds.

Just like always, this week flew by really fast, which means that it is almost time to go camping! This trip should be extraordinary, and last night I spent several hours grocery shopping and packing to prepare for the adventure. Tomorrow night I will be under the northern Minnesota stars, enjoying the fresh and crisp but hopefully not too crisp air. Weather.com reports Saturday to have an ominous high of 63 degrees and a 50% chance of rain. Time to break out tht thermals.

Lastly, I am going to ride out the weekend in style with a trip to see the Saint Paul Saints baseball game on Monday night. Tailgating is encouraged, but my dilemma is that I am yet to find a good Minnesota working class beer. Since I am now in the working class, I think that it is vital that I find one. My working theory on this futile search is that the Twin Cities were not born from the same blue-color identity that forged my previous residences. No Iron City. No Old Style. The best they can do here might be Leinenkugel's (really more Chippewa Falls, WI than anything else). I don't know what to think of this. I guess I'll just have to raise my glass of Summit Pale Ale. Does that work?

In our group, we will also be bringing along the previous winner of the Saints beard contest. We will be bringing him along with his $50 of unused gift certificates that can be used in the stadium for beer. Can anyone beat that?

Interesting fact: In yesterday's Twins game, the only two bench players who did not get into the game were Punto and Redmond. Someone fact check me on this, but I think I'm right. Who's my fact checkin' cuz?

I Heart Kowalski's

2006-08-13T17:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was about as gorgeous as they come. I spent a little bit of time outside, a little bit of time inside cleaning, and a little bit of time watching baseball. Perfect. To cap off my day, yesterday evening I decided to take a leisurely walk to the grocery store to pick up some asparagus, shrimp, and cilantro to make a simple pasta meal with hot selections from the barbie. Usually, I drive my car to the grocery, but today with the evening especially pleasant, I couldn't resist the stroll. I walked first to a non-standard grocery store of mine, the Mississippi Market, and couldn't find what I was looking for. I then decided to trapse back over to my all-time favorite grocery store, Kowalki's. All in all the walk was a gorgeous 3.7 mile exploratory journey throught my Saint Paul neighborhood. I only wish I had brought a camera to document.

Dealing with UPS on Friday evening was a time to forget. It would be too painful for me to recount the details of how many things they screwed up, but just know the end result was that I was left without package. In the process, I ended up doing my good deed for the day by driving a Somali man around the cities. The whole thing made sense at the time with the wild goose chase that UPS had me on that evening. My Somali friend had locked his keys in his car and needed a ride home. Plus he reminded me of the man from I Heart Huckabees, so I thought helping him out would be the right thing to do. In retrospect, one good reason to not help him out would have been that he didn't smell very good. Bad smells can only get worse in confined spaces. Luckily, my new car smell returned just minutes after dropping him back at the UPS center.

Friday night took an upturn when I paid a visit to Gloria, my new stylist by recommendation at the MOA. Gloria was a wonderfully pleasant woman, who decided that my haircut was a pretty exciting thing. She potentially solved a problem that I have been having with the front portion of my hair, and reinforced the fact that I should never use conditioner in my hair. And while I didn't end up having views of the Old Navy, the whole experience was pretty darn good.

On rare occasions I become a little uncomfortable when I am grilling out my front window. My third floor window overlooks historic Grand Ave, and has a small arc of a ledge that juts out about 18 inches in radius directly outside my sunroom. That's where I grill. The main problem is that I know what I am doing is illegal, and my concern is that barbequeing openly on a busy street might attract attention. I am slightly worrieed that the police will have something to say about it, but am more concerned that my landlord will happen to walk by at the exact moment that I am lighting up. And yet another dilemma exists. The closer I keep the grill to the apartment wall, the more hidden it is, but the more of a fire hazard it becomes. The greater the distance from my apartment wall, the more visible it becomes. And the most conspicuous of all grilling happens with the cooking of the bratwurst. When those soft fresh sausages plump up, their juices start to drip down through the grate and create the most beautiful and fragrant of smokes. Yes, beautiful to me and you, but not as beautiful to my landlord and the SPFD.

Beekeeper Seeks Walleye

2006-08-09T22:37:00.000-05:00

I took my first trip to the MOA on Sunday, and to my surprise I must say the MOA is quite spectacular. The layout is intuitive, the design breathtaking, and with the number of map stations posted throughout, its easy to get where you need to be to spend your hard-earned American dollars. Three stories and four avenues (north, east, south, west) frame an amusement park. There is also a Legoland, aquarium, 4-6 Caribou Coffees, and a mall foodcourt unrivaled anywhere in the world.

The MOA is where I am going this upcoming Friday night to get my haircut as well. My appointment is at 7 pm, and I can't think of anything better than getting a little trim with a clear view of the Old Navy. It's too bad its not the season for $2 Old Navy USA flag shirts. If that were the case, I would have the opportunity to people-watch our country's finest patriots (outside of members of USA Beard Team).

The reason I went to MOA in the first place was to find myself a pair of Crocs. The thought was that Crocs would be ideal for being on call in the hospital. Crocs are basically rubber shoes with air ventilation holes spaced throughout, and they are all the rage with little kids right now. They are also quite comfy. Additionally, my mother has a pair. The kids usually wear red, orange, green, or purple, but I was looking for something a little bit more respectable like black, chocolate, navy, or powder blue. To my dismay, however, neither of the Crocs kiosks had any more in my size (this was after I had checked at REI, Dicks, and Sports Authority). I was redirected to Nordstrom's where they had Crocs in my size, but somehow I ended up coming home with a great pair of Merrell clogs. So it goes.

I have worn my Merrells to work everyday since Sunday and they are spectacular. I noticed this evening that I have scuffed up the toe of the right clog pretty bad, while the left one still looks pristine. I wonder what this says about my gait or posturing. Hopefully good things.

By the day I am growing more excited about my camping trip up north. Looks like the weather there should peak in the mid 70s which will be just perfect for hiking. Our camping spot will be a short shot from three state parks, gorgeous Lake Superior, and hopefully a bit of wildlife as well. I also hope to make it up all the way to Grand Marais, see the town, and maybe stop in at the Angry Trout Cafe for the freshest of fishes. Oh, one can only dream, I suppose.

Now, I have more than once used this forum to talk about how much I love fish, and my move up here to Minnesota has made my love grow stronger (the exact opposite of distance makes the heart grow fonder, but I am not sure if the saying extrapalates to human fish relations). Unfortunately, I don't have any good fishing stories, yet, but I do have a good one about a certain Walleye sandwich I had a couple weeks ago.

Set the scene in a beautiful garden bar on a calm evening. You can't even feel the air, and the only sensation you've got is the cool condensation on your hand from a $2.50 PBR tall boy. There is a pesky bee bothering you, too. And actually, there is another sensation beyond that. Think fish. Yes, how about the best grilled walleye sandwich you've ever had swimming and dancing on your tongue. For some odd reason, your friend finishes his sandwich prematurely and leaves some extra on his plate. Well, what do you do? You go for it, right? But guess who beats you to the punch? Yes, indeed, it's Mr. Bee. Before I could act, our bee friend dove right into the plate, broke off a giant piece of the walleye, and clumsily flew away. And you know what? Two minutes later he returned and broke off another huge chunk for his friends. This pattern probably lasted about 10 total trips and was just incredible! Bees eating walleye? Just come to the Twin Cities.

Born on Seaweed

2006-08-07T23:34:00.000-05:00

It's a GBV marathon of sorts over here tonight. Pretty good way to do it, and it always leads me to a High Life or two to get into the mood appropriately. A lot of what I am listening to is the suitcase, too, which means silly titles like "Taco, Buffalo, Birddog and Jesus"

One of the things that I was trying to do while listening to GBV this evening was my overdue hospital dictations. Basically the premise is that I have to dictate the clinical course for all the kids I see in clinic or take care of in the hospital. This is something at which I am terribly attrocious. I feel for the transcriptionist who has to deal with my pauses, my actually I meants, and the incoherent mutterings coming out of my mouth itself. I'll just chalk it up to something that I will have to get better at in time.

It might be silly if some of the GBV lyrics showed up in the actual dictations, with the transcription mistakenly hearing the music through the phone reciever. I can imagine the pediatrician receiving the dictation letter exclaiming, "I am glad to hear Johnny is all right, but what is this whole thing about the bitter fish in the crude oil sea?"

And anytime guitar work leaked through, maximum riffage would show up in parentheses.

These DVR'd cooking shows easily provide my full dose of entertainment for the evening. Ina made tequila lime chicken with a baked corn dish and key lime pie, and Giada added her bean soup with Italian corn bread. Now, you're probably saying to yourself "Italian corn bread???" Well if you hold your horses I'll tell you that she added sun-dried tomatoes to the mixture. That makes it Italian. Steven did great Texas and Oklahoma bbq, and I made a frozen pizza. Veggie Supreme.

I got just enough baseball in tonight as well. A couple innings of Twins/Tigers, a couple innings of Sox/Angels. The NL is in troubbble. I miss Harold Reynolds.

Lastly, I am about a week and a half from a camping trip up to the North Shore of Minnesota. The North Shore refers to Minnesota's Lake Superior Shore and is lined with state parks, small towns, and great hiking. I am pretty excited and luckily was able to squeeze a reservation for one of the last available camping spots left up there for the weekend. I anticipate scenic drives, scenic hikes, loads of stars, and lots of good food around the campfire.

(maximum riffage)

Curds 'N Tunes

2006-08-05T20:11:00.000-05:00

First I need to make an important correction to my previous post. There is no "America Beard Team", but rather the team is called "Beard Team USA". Phil Olsen is the founder of the team, and maintains The Beard Team USA Blog to update their efforts to all interested. You will notice that there is no entry for the competition in Saint Paul, which surely must be a whale of an embarrassment for the entire team from coast to coast.

I made the mistake of taking a look at the Lollapalooza website today. It looks ridiculously good and made me more jealous than ever. Here is a mock shedule of what I might have seen if I could have gone. Note: This is totally outrageous.

Friday
2:30-3:30 Eels*
3:30-4:30 Stars*
4:30-5:30 Ryan Adams*
5:30-6:30 Iron & Wine*
6:30-7:30 The Raconteurs*
7:30-8:30 Sleater Kinney*
8:30-10:00 DCFC

Saturday
12:00-12:30 Rainer Maria*
12:30-1:30 Nada Surf*
1:30-2:30 The Go! Team*
2:30-3:30 Built to Spill
3:30-4:30 Calexico*
4:30-5:30 Gnarls Barkley*
6:30-7:30 The Flaming Lips
7:30-8:30 The New Pornographers
8:30-10:00 Kanye West*

Sunday
Not totally stoked about the early schedule, so might rest up in the am
3:30-4:30 Andrew Bird
4:30-5:30 Shins
5:30-6:00 Of Montreal*
6:30-7:30 Wilco
7:30-8:15 Broken Social Scene
8:15-9:45 RHCP

*=artists not previously seen live

I cannot even fathom how good that must be. Right now as I am writing the palpable energy must be building for Kanye. Oh my goodness this is hard to handle. Here is a text message exchange that just occured.

gurs: golddigger!
turducken: Mayhem right now
turducken: Racounters and flips best ro far

I am too jealous for words.

My call schedule has limited me a bit in some of the concerts I have been able to see here in the twin cities. Call nights have blocked me out of Jens Lekman and Wolf Parade recently and I missed out on the Raconteurs because they sold out. I did catch the Futureheads last week who annihilated me in the best way possible. Very powerful yet friendly group. I met an entemologist at the show and that was a first for me as well.

The Decemberists and Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah are two upcoming shows that should be pretty good, but what I am most excited for is seeing the Flaming Lips, Sonic Youth, and Magic Numbers together while eating cheese curds at the Minnesota State Fair. 4 for 1 Minnesota Special.

I am currently reading from Baseball Prosepectus' "Baseball Between the Numbers". Hopefully I can read a chapter tonight, and the chapter is appropriately titled "Is David Ortiz a Clutch Hitter?" Now, I know that a lot of people don't belive clutch-hitting exists, but Big Papi has to be an exception. In his brief interview after hitting the 3-run walkoff against the Tribe last Sunday he was asked how he does it time and tiem again. Big Papi responded, "Concentration." You gotta love him.

Team America

2006-08-02T00:02:00.000-05:00

There are at least three things that we as Americans know to be certainties.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. RedHotHalos is the best damn thing out there.

RedHotHalos has become so good, it blows my mind. It's the purest form of blog.

I am currently in a quiet spot of a call night in the hospital. I am sitting on a bed in a room about 6x8 feet. I have a small lamp on, a computer on a cart in front of me (for entering orders at night) and a telephone. The nice thing about being in this room is that I can take my socks off and let my feet air out, something that is more difficult to do at the 5a nurses station.

This next item relates to both nurses and feet. One of the nurses this evening asked me what to do about her new foot problem. "I know this is like totally gross and you are going to totally think this is so gross, but my toenail kind of fell off and its kinda green underneath and smells really bad." She must not be a Vikings fan, because anyone who watches sports on television would know what to do about this seemingly very common problem. I am more amazed that I am placed in a situation where someone I am working with thinks its ok to say these things.

Drivel like this is important to me because I am not that good at following the news. I have started to get most to all of my news from the Daily Show, Colbert Report, and occasionally NPR in the morning. I occasionally read Internet headlines as well. I do understand that this is a very dangerous filter for receiving news, but at the same time it is the most entertaining.

My new DVR option from Comcast allows me to digitally record these shows daily. So along with the Daily Show and Colbert Report, I also record PTI daily and then a variety of cooking shows including Barbecue University, Barefoot Contessa, Everyday Italian, 30 Minute Meals, and Simply Ming.

Barbecue University is by far my favorite of the cooking shows. The way that it finds the simple goodness in foods is what appeals to me. It hurts to know how limited my grill equipment is (I am limited to essentially one mini Webber gas grill), but super fun to discover the lifetime of opportunities that await in grilling paradise.

I want to tell a fun story now. I have a friend in my residency program here who is Sikh. Basically what that means is that he is an Indian who wears a turban and through his entire life has never cut a hair on his body. He is also by law allowed to carry a concealed sword if he likes, but I am too afraid to ask is he does or doesn't do that. Well, this weekend he and his wife attended a Saint Paul Saints game, and the promotion of the day happened to be an all-stadium beard contest. And not only did he become one of the on-field finalists, but he also beat out several members of a certain America Beard Team (not a joke), in winning the competition by crowd applause. Selected as the best beard out of 10,000 people, he raked in $50 of Saints gift certificates. Pretty good. Even better was that he was solicited by the America Beard Team to join their ranks. Making the worst decision in his life, he politely declined, and simply took one of their business cards for future reference. Now, I am not telling anyone what to do, but if I was asked to join any sort of America team, I would do it in a heartbeat. These things are best done wearing a red, white and blue bandana.

I am not sure if the America Beard Team is indigenous to Minnesota, or they just traveled here for the beard competition during the minor league baseball game. Quite frankly, neither would surprise me.

Meat in the Lettuce

2006-07-06T23:25:00.000-05:00

If everyone I knew lived in St. Paul it would become one of the best places in America. The pace is right, the attitudes are right, the lakes are gorgeous, and most importantly it is very easy to commute and park everywhere. Unfortunately everyone that I know isn't here and often times I have to refer to my default evening. My default evening is self-entertainment. This is a new useful skill that I've had to develop, and while I am still growing my wings, often involves phone consultations to numerous out of town consultants (i.e. What should I eat for dinner? What do you think would be fun for me to do tonight?).

Tonight was a perfect example. I called one St. Paul friend for dinner and when he didn't respond (I later found out that he was on the treadmill), I knew that I would be responsible for putting my own plan into action. I took a trip to the central library, checked out some books, ate dinner at Chipotle, and then read for a bit outside at a coffee shop. It was all very nice. Pastoral, even, although I am not sure that description makes sense. I can say that it felt pastoral, though. One thing that I've learned is that no one can tell you that the way you feel is wrong. Anyway, while often times my evenings still feel odd, this type of scenario is exactly how I envisioned my life would be here. I think it will just take me a little time to get used to my new coat.

President Bush's current trip to Chicago to help support Illinois GOP governor candidate Judy Baar Topinka got me to think about the party lines of my own congressional district from Pennsylvania. Most recently the vote has been very Republican, and our U.S. Congressional representative from the 4th district of Pennsylvania, Melissa Hart, is about as Republican as you can get. She was responsible for drafting a bill that says if you commit a crime against a pregnant woman you should be charged with two crimes against two victims. I will let you draw your own conclusions. She votes along Bush lines 98% of the time, and is one of the possible candidates for the likely open Senatorial spot that Arlen Specter will probably leave behind in 2010. Her opposition in the 4th in 2006 is going to be Jason Altmire. His thing is health care reform and he was a WR on Florida State's 1989 Sugar Bowl championship team. He's got great pictures of his family on his website, too. That is all you need to know.

Lastly, I want to wish a very happy 30th birthday to Bean. Goals turned 18 a few days ago, too. She even got to go to P.F. Chang's with her friends on the waterfront. That's all pretty cool. She didn't order the lettuce wraps, though. I am not sure what is up with that.

Bring Two Coats to Minnesota

2006-06-25T23:46:00.000-05:00

New things in my life since I last wrote:

Cable with DVR
Historic Grand Avenue
Lakes
Mazda 3i Touring
Minneapolis
Minnesota
Pager
Residency
Saint Paul
Scab on Ankle
Upper Youghigheny
Wedding
Wifi Stolen from Brueggers Bagel Bakery

Other than that, it's been a little tough adjusting back to early mornings. Outside of knowing few people here, St. Paul is an ideal location. I hope to once again use this forum freely, but we shall see.

Lastly, chestnut stain is a bit more cherry than you'd think. That's why He invented second coats.

Who Does #2 Work For?

2006-05-18T12:26:00.000-05:00

Clients #4 and #5, as I like to call them, are coming to view the apartment at 5:30 pm and 6:00 pm this evening. Others call them Matt and Sean. I like to keep the potential lessees as impersonal as possible. That way I don’t get too attached.

A week ago, I had secretly prophesized that I would only need three clients to view the apartment before it rented. I shared this secret with less than ten people. The prophecy did not come true, and I think this is because I wasn't able to keep it a secret. The new prophecy is that it will take five people to see the apartment before it rents. And the unchosen ones...

Clients #1: Couple soon to be graduating from University of Chicago. They wanted to live together, and I was superficially concerned that they were rushing into it. Unlike the prophecy, I keep this a secret. They decided on another apartment in the neighborhood and I thought they were dorks.

Client #2: Nice young woman soon to be graduating from Northwestern with a history major. Her big problem was that she would not let me haze her. I told her that she could perform a skit, and that if I didn’t like it she would have to give me a lap dance. The skit that she chose was walking around the apartment pretending to be interested and leaving saying that she would be in touch with me. Turns out she might just want an apartment lease that starts in September.

Alberto: Alberto gets a name because I like to say his name. Alberto. Alberto, a short talkative man-child, arrived at noon on Sunday, carrying fresh the scent of beer and cigarettes. Alberto loved the apartment, especially the water pressure. Within minutes of meeting him, Alberto mentioned a traumatic experience he once had at a bowling alley. He was also proud being awake since 9 am. Alberto talked about renting the apartment after clearing it with his girlfriend. As of 2 days ago, Alberto still has “two things” he needs to check on before he can accept the apartment.

I have attacked with a fresh ad. You might notice that Nemo’s testimonial from the previous entry's comments section was not added. This is because it is unclear from his testimonial whether or not pumpkin guts are engrained into the hardwood.

Believe

2006-05-12T12:33:00.000-05:00

Because it was just too good, I have to talk a little bit about the Pacific Northwest dinner party thrown at Casa Gurs de Washington State Lincoln Square Chicago, USA. The event was last week, the perfect crowd was in attendance, and Isaac Brock's meal published in a recent Believer magazine (heavy on the coconut milk and cumin) seemed to strike a chord with the guests.

However, clearly the highlight of the evening was the beating of the symbolic fish pinata. Walls and hands were struck, egos were shattered, and in the end, everyone got candy. And not just any candy. We are talking about big boxes of candy. King Size even. Cubbie was seen smashing a box of Junior Mints in his powerful oversized mitts only to greedily grab a fresh unsmashed box. Turducken sprawled himself across the floor tackling the best candy his eyes could find and biting the innocent ankles of others. Everyone knows that Turducken has a sweet tooth.

As stated earlier, the event was held at my apartment. Coincidentally, this beautiful unit is now up for rental. Know anyone interested in a June 1 lease?

Fantastic Apartment Ad!

Any idea why this apartment isn't moving? Neither do I, because its a real gem. Maybe I can add some testimonials to the ad.

Lastly, its incredibly difficult to find a nearby drive-in theatre that's not showing a double feature of RV and MI:III this weekend. I've never been to one and have always been interested in going. Its a community of which I'd like to become part. The quest to be a regular. Take, for example, Inez, who loves the Keno Family Drive-In in Pleasant Prarie, Wisconsin.

This is the absolute supercalifragilistic drive-in! The box office people are always so friendly. They make the best pizza bread. The bathrooms are not always the cleanest, but they always work properly! For the last two seasons they haven't picked, or kept, the best movies around like they had in past years, but when they have movies on their opening weekends, it is great. Above all, the movies always start on time, which is great even on those Saturday nights that you don't want to come to an end, but you know that you have to get up and go to church the next Sunday morning. Thank you so much Keno for always providing TOP-NOTCH family fun and entertainment!

Keep it Relevant

2006-05-05T15:16:00.000-05:00

I feel like this hot blog used to be of some critical relevance. The evidence all points to the fact that this is no longer the case, and the cynics are calling for my head.

“He hasn’t had a good post since the Rud interview and we all know that had nothing to do with him.”

“If there weren’t a link to RedHotHalos on this page, I would have no reason to visit at all.”

Readers are hungry for more.

“Honey, have you seen that box of Kashi Heart to Heart?”

The gypsies are looking into their crystal balls and they’re telling the same story. Babies are crying ceaselessly, and the ashes of some relative of mine are stirring up in a directionless Ganges current (I think this is the equivalent of rolling around in ones grave).

So, I have been fiddling around with some ideas of how to make this a better blog. Below is something that we in the industry call a brainstorm. When you brainstorm, your ideas don’t have to be any good. Preferably, they are whatever thoughts happen to pop into your head.

Add more links to RedHotHalos.
Add pornography.
More coverage on the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Talk about where I get my haircut.

Ok, that was a pretty good exercise.

However, as the dogma is written, when all else fails, just talk about the new pair of shoes you bought.

One thing I really like about California is the style. On a recent trip to San Francisco, my better senses led me into a shoe store right down the street from the world famous Amoeba records. It was the attitude of “Villains” that sold the shoe. I thought to myself, ‘If I owned that pair of red/blue plaid Velcro Vans, I could transform into someone completely different’. I could be chill and progressive. I would be hip without even trying. A gracious nod from the saleswoman was all I needed to wrap up those left coast soles, and now I’m ready to unleash them on the young and anticipating Twin Cities scene. Plus, they look like they are fuckin’ Burberry. Limited edition, too. That’s hott.

79

2006-05-03T12:03:00.000-05:00

Today the projected weather is 79 degrees, which would cause anyone in their right mind to wish their car stereo was working. Mine still happens to be broken, which means that cruising down Lincoln Ave with my windows down (manually rolled) requires an internal soundtrack. When that happens, one becomes subject to whatever tune their head desires to play. This could be the purposeful Tapes ‘n Tapes, but more than likely it will be OMCs “How Bizarre”.

How do I maximize my last few weeks in Chicago? You might think that I should set my internal soundtrack to Wilco and drive up and down LSD. It sounds like a pretty good plan, but we all know that gas is getting pretty pricy. So, what I am left with is spending time with pals, revisiting my favorite spots, and feeling the warm Chicago winds rustle my arm hair. Maybe I would just like to grill outside as much as possible.

I would also like to find a Zen whereby I can be Chicagoland and Chicagoland can be me. My eyes could the reflecting bean and my mouth the great Lake Michigan. My shoulders and frame the smooth plains and miles of housing. My legs the CTA and my arms the Daley machine. My heart could be clogged with Italian beef.

Lastly, Radiohead plays two shows here at the Auditorium Theatre on June 19 and 20. I anticipate that these will be really good, so get your tickets while you can. They go on sale this Saturday at 10 am.

As today is Wednesday, I plan to recreate my perfect Subway sub today.

Neither/Nor

2006-04-26T22:35:00.000-05:00

I am usually really not that much of a Subway guy, but occasionally good economics gets the best of me ($2.49 sub of the day). Wednesday is savory turkey and today I think I found the only perfect Subway combination.

For bread I go with Honey Oat, which we all know is the obvious choice. I accentuate my Savory Turkey sandwith with provolone cheese and garnish with watery lettuce, green peppers, pickles, gardenara*. Here, though, is the kicker: Southwest Chipotle Sauce.

*I also realize that I have no idea how to spell this word, and in a recent telephone conversation realize that I might not know how to say it either. Suprisingly, google searching and dictionary.com have not elucidated the answer. Any thoughts on spelling and/or pronunciation would be appreciated.

A few minutes ago, I came crashing down to earth upon realizing that my once prolific beer collection is down to one can of skunky PBR. Looks like its time to host another dinner party.

Lastly, it's time to play a game called neither/nor. A game in which I form sentences using those words.

1. Currently, neither the NHL playoffs nor the NBA playoffs interest me.
2. Neither wind nor fire will hinder me from achieving my dreams.
3. Neither Larry nor Balki was able to solve the misunderstanding.

Welcome to Chicago

2006-04-25T13:41:00.000-05:00

This is what people say when you have a cold day after some really warm ones. It happens every year. It happens every month. It happened today.

I have been on a hot streak of not writing. Sorry if this throws a wrench anyone’s day.

I did in fact run into Conan O’Brien two days in a row in Lincoln Park.

Day 1: Walking down the street with large green glasses talking on cell phone. Very tall and pasty.

Day 2: Gets out of white van in front of me and walks right into Potbelly’s which is my destination, too. Orders an Italian on white with no hot peppers. Very tall and pasty again. Notice that hair does not really poof in his street life.

I left Conan alone and it’s not because I didn’t want to bother him. I did in fact want to bother him and have a nice conversation. Instead I decided that I just couldn’t play it cool. Starstruck. What’s a guy in Chicago to do?

I have never before been excited to move into an actual apartment structure like I am now. I found a nice spacious apartment overlooking Historic Grand Avenue in St. Paul. It’s on the third floor over a Bruegger’s Bagel Bakery. Additionally, no landlord has ever asked me what colors of Restoration Hardware paint I would like on my walls before I moved in. What a guy! The apartment is also old and beautiful and I think it was a pretty good find.

Better yet, S and I also made up a very good game driving home from the Twin Cities. One of the best car games that I’ve ever thought of. It’s called “Man or Woman”. The player playing has to see cars in advance and decide whether it is a man or a woman driving them. After deciding, the driver speeds up to take a look. S finished 39/50 in gender identification and that sounds pretty good to me. Please note that this game is also very dangerous as sometimes the driver may exceed 90 mph to get a good look.

Lastly, my week in Barcelona was one of the best of my life. I will post pictures on my flickr soon.

Tabula Rasa

2006-04-06T10:11:00.000-05:00

Three days ago, I would’ve said that you have no heartbeat if you can’t get excited for the beginning of the baseball season. Everyone tied for first place with a clean slate. Three days ago the Pirates were 0-0. Today the beloved hometown Pirates are 0-3. Swept by a team (Milwaukee Brewers) that I don't think is as good as they are made out to be. Beat by a hacking Prince Fielder. It’s hard. What makes it more tolerable/intolerable is that all three games were competitive and lost in relief. I am not sure which one applies.

Regardless, yesterday was a great trip to Miller Park. On the way home a pretty good radio game was developed. Here is how you play.

Object: Have fun and groove at the same time

Materials: VW Jetta with Radio, Friends

Rules:

1. On your VW Jetta, find your radio. Press the button that scrambles the stations and assigns the six strongest stations to the six preset buttons in ascending order.

2. Select someone to play the game. If it’s someone’s birthday, that person becomes the player automatically.

3. At the beginning of the game, start with button 1. In subsequent rounds, start with the button numerically after the one you left off with. After hearing the song playing, the player has the choice to listen to the entire song on the first station or pass to the next station. If a commercial is airing, then the game automatically moves to the next station.

4. If the player passes on the station, then press the next button to move to the next station. He/She then has the choice to listen or pass again.

5. If the player gets to the sixth (last) station, all in the car are forced to listen to whatever is on that last station. In the case that it is a commercial, the station is reverted to the most previous station that was playing a song.

6. Once everyone has listened to (and hopefully enjoyed) the song, and after hearing the beginning of the next song, the player has the choice to stay with the current station, or start the game again at from rule #1. Different stations may scramble into the mix when the game is played again.

7. Fahrvergnugen.

This game is great because it both rewards and punishes risk-taking. Last night songs were heard by artists such as The Beatles, Dido, Green Day, Poison, The Police, Gwen Stefani, U2, and some funky Mexican band. Some were danced to, some were sung to, and others were just tolerated.

Give Me Something to Look Forward to

2006-04-01T02:00:00.000-06:00

As the song goes... "Your Chicago manual of style"

It's not going to be easy to leave Chicago. Chicago will go out with a fight. I didn't realize the extent until the Robert Pollard show tonight at the Metro. It had nothing to do with the show. The show was mediocre at best, but as has been the case for the last week or two, I couldn't hold myself back from looking around. This was probably one of my last shows at the Metro. I went there first my freshman year of college and that's pretty much all I know. I have been going for 8 years since.

I met four guys tonight from the Twin Cities at the Metro. They are good cities, I know. These few drove down from the Twin Cities for the show and I recognized at least one from the last new year's GBV show. They said that they wouldn't mind being friends with me. That sounds Minnesota nice to me.

Humiliated by Google

2006-03-28T10:42:00.000-06:00

Today I was wondering what would happen if someone used my computer at work to do a google search. I had to make sure there was nothing too embarrassing that popped up predictively as a previous search.

Here is a sampling of previous searches from each of the 23 letters that I have used in the last 2 months or so...

A: asian burger
B: barcelona fc schedule
C: chicago fish markets
D: depaul silk scarf
E: emusic 100 free downloads
F: free murder mystery dinner
G: georgetown tournament history
H: hate musburger
I: illinois taxes
J: jewel osco
K: knickerbocker hotel chicago
L: latin sandwich cafe chicago
M: metarie, louisisana
N: nigiri maki
O: ohio university women's lacrosse
P: president on the ten dollar bill
R: red hot halos
S: steelers bar twin cities
T: totally bamboo
U: us passport
V: venti starbucks ounces
W: WBC television schedule
Y: yahoo yellow pages

Letters that I omitted and wish that I had done searches for...

Q: quik strawberry or chocolate better
X: xylophone practicing regimen
Z: zeke dies of cholera in oregon trail

God Only Knows

2006-03-22T01:42:00.000-06:00

When I'm bored at night and wide awake, but still too tired to accomplish anything worth accomplishing, I like to watch movies. I did this tonight. "The Girl Next Door" was on one of the HBOs and it captivated me. The premise of the movie is that an ex-porn star moves next door to a dorky high school senior. After an awkward scene of him getting caught watching her change, they fall in love. Spoiler Alert -- There are a few bumps in the road, but he eventually gets the girl.

It took me a week, but I think that I am really digging HBO's new series "Big Love". The show follows a polygamist family trying to live a normal yet secretive life in subarban Utah. The characters are great, especially Chloe Sevigny's role as the conflicted compound-raised, yet raging materialist Nicolette. I had only previously seen her in "Kids" so this character is a bit of a deviation. In reality, I have no idea what her character would really be like, but she seems to be doing one heck of a job.

I also ruined things for myself by watching the third episode before it was released on television. For some reason, ComCast had put the episode on OnDemand a week early, and I was too greedy to just let it be. I am now officially hooked.

Plus, the opening sequence uses the Beach Boys "God Only Knows". And it incorporates ice skating. That's so good.

I hope A.J. goes after Uncle Junior.

Never Bet Against the Griz

2006-03-17T11:56:00.000-06:00

In the latest news, I will be moving to the Twin Cities sometime in June. This is in a way in line with my dream to live by as many lakes as possible. But, as we all know, where there are lakes, there are always mosquitoes.

Although only going 10/16 in Day 1 of the Tournament, I am still yet to lose a Sweet 16 team, which is exciting news to me. In worse news, yesterday I was one of only two to fall to an early beheading in Turducken’s NCAA Suicide Pool, as I foolishly put all my chips on Nevada to beat Montana. Having never seen Montana play, this was a mistake.

Hoops coverage was pretty good for me yesterday, except for when the GW and Gonzaga games were both coming to a close. When I saw the Wilm/GW game getting pushed into OT, I was extremely disappointed, because all I wanted to see was the end of a very close Gonzaga/Xavier game. One would think that CBS would choose to play the game with the bigger potential upset and the one with the funny-looking player that everyone knows, but they didn’t. I suppose that OT supersedes all, and I can imagine the kind of silly arguments that they were having in the CBS control room. Because I wanted to see Gonzaga, I ended up just rooting for the clock to tick away during the GW game, and ended up losing interest in the game itself. Shame on me.

Well, last night the U.S. played itself out of the WBC as Vernon Wells hit into a game-ending DP in the ninth inning. Very disappointing, but at least I will have long-lasting memories like this email message I received from Cubbie this morning…

I had a dream last night about the World Baseball Cup. I can't remember the details, but all I remember was that it was being played in Chicago, and all of our friends were playing on different teams. I think I must be the only person in the country dreaming about the WBC.

Dear Mr. Rud,

2006-03-10T14:57:00.000-06:00

I am requesting of you an email interview that will be conducted throughout the day today. I am a really big fan of your body or work.

Here is how the format will work. The interview will be ongoing and conducted via electronic mail messages. My questions to you will appear in bold. Simply reply to the email, answering the stated questions, and we will see how it all progresses throughout the day. The interview will end when I thank you for doing the interview with me.

Sincerely,
gurs!

And let's begin..

Do you consent to this interview?

Yes, I consent. Which is it, though, my body, or my work, that you are a fan of?

I was referring to your work, but I like your body, too. It's just like "Body by Jake", except its entitled "Body by Rud". So tell me, about how long does it take you to get ready before going to work? Walk me through a typical morning.

Usually, the alarm goes off at 6:40 or so. And then I roll to my feet at 7:45. And then I leave the house at 8:20 or so. Pretty standard morning stuff, really. I shower. I brush my teeth. I shave, sometimes without shaving cream. (That irritates my skin, so I'll probably stop.) I've taken to preselecting my clothing for the day, cutting down the morning preparation time. You won't believe this, but I put my pants on one leg at a time. If I've got extra time, sometimes I'll sit on a chair and try to put them on both legs at a time, however. I eat one bowl of shredded wheat, a large bowl, with two packets of Splenda, and a banana. I'll usually read the Chicago Tribune sports section, usually two articles, during this time. Before leaving the house, I grab a can of soda, usually a Diet Cherry Coke or a Fresca of some variety.

So you put your pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us! That's 100% fascinating. Diet soda has really revolutionized the beverage industry. I myself wasn't really able to get into it much until I decided that I needed to cut back on sugar during my first year of medical school. When did you first discover diet sodas? Were you one of those trendy moms who drank Tab in the 80s?

I always knew of the existence of diet soda - my friend Mike F was ordering Diet Coke as a physically fit 9-year-old - but I don't think we ever had it in the house. As recently as the spring of 2003, I consumed a two-liter bottle of the orange Mountain Dew in a single evening while watching the Cubs. This was as an adult and, therefore, I was making my own consumption choices at that point. That was also the day I bought the New Pornographers' Electric Version CD, I remember. I only started drinking diet soda in earnest in the last year or so. At this point, the non-diet Coke and Pepsi are too sweet for my tastes, perhaps due to my aging or weakening taste buds. However, I prefer Fresca, both for its fruity goodness and because it doesn't carry with it the "Diet" label. There's somehow less status in diet soda, I think, especially as a strapping young man like myself. Also, we had Tab in the house in the early part of 1998, at the earliest peak of the Atkins diet.

It does sometimes feel funny to go to a bar and order a "Jack and Diet", but it certainly is good for you. Maybe with your tastes, you could get away with ordering a "Seven and Fresca".

I wonder if bars stock cans of Fresca? Would bartenders ask, "Original, Black Cherry, Peach, or Lime?" That would be awesome. I won't try, however.

On the topic of sodas, I really like the new Pepsi commercial where Jimmy Fallon romps around with Parker Posey in the streets of NYC. In that commercial the two are drinking regular Pepsi while relating to one another with their unique dance moves. I wonder if the soda companies have any particular agenda to push the sugar-rich versions of their drinks.

I've not seen the commercial you refer to and, quite honestly, I couldn't pick Parker Posey out of a lineup. I could identify Jimmy Fallon, because he'd be giggling and ruining the seriousness of the moment. I'd yell at him, "That movie Taxi sucked! I didn't see it, but both of us know it!" He'd nod in agreement.

Here's a picture of Parker Posey that may help you pick her out of a line-up. I can't imagine her being the one who committed a crime. Maybe that's because I don't know her outside of "Waiting for Guffman" and "Best in Show".

As I look at her imbd filmography, I'm surprised I know Parker Posey's name. I've never seen anything that she was in, except for an episode of the Rosie O'Donnell Show which also featured Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, in 1998, presumably on an appearance promoting You've Got Mail. It's a memorable name, and I believe Ryan Adams once dated her, or was "linked" to her. She's probably a coke-head.

Do you like the WBC as much as I do?

I really, really like the concept of the WBC, and I loved watching the U.S.-Canada game on Wednesday. I decided to leave work a bit early, in part to watch the game. Most, I love the concept of competitive baseball, played with wooden bats, in early March.

But it's a very crowded sports scene right now, and it's tough to devote my proper attention to it. I hope ticket sales pick up for the United States games, and I hope that there are a few great, great games in the single-elimination round to get the event to the forefront of the sports scene. Somehow, going against the NCAA tournament, that seems impossible.

The benefits of the event - namely, competitive baseball on March 10, and the star-studded (though slightly depleted) rosters - outweigh the drawbacks, including clumsy pitch-count restrictions, too-large rosters, and out-of-shape players. I think it's a longshot, but the event could be truly great played for three weeks at the end of July when it next appears, in 2009.

A. Bobsled
B. Luge
C. Skeleton
D. All of the Above
E. None of the Above

Being that there's no question here, I'm not sure what to answer. I think that I prefer bobsled, because of the group-running start and jump process. It's much more interesting than the run-up in skeleton (which I didn't watch), or luge's propulsion method. However, doubles luge opens up Brokeback Olympics jokes, and we know all jokes involving the word "Brokeback" are and will always be funny. Gay cowboys!

For more on skeleton, go here:
http://www.nbcolympics.com/wgrz/index.html

Thank you so much for your time today. It's been wonderful chatting with you about everything from Shredded Wheat to the Gay Luge (two of Wilford Brimley's favorite things). You've been a wonderful participant, and I anticipate this interview will open many doors for you. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and wish you all the luck. I am still amazed that you put on your pants one leg at a time just like the rest of us.

I Love the WBC

2006-03-09T13:38:00.000-06:00

I can't reiterate how incredible the WBC has been. Because I have the MLB.com video pass, I have been able to listen to the games during the day and sometimes catch the later games at television at home.

When team Canada outdistanced the U.S. 8-6 yesterday, this very unsettling feeling set in. I watched the last few innings with Cubbie and we were sitting there stunned. By this point I was rooting for Team U.S.A. 100% of the time. Earlier in the game I was rooting for Team U.S.A. except for when Jason Bay was batting, but after he was pulled for Calgarian Ryan Radmanovich, all of my fervor went to America the Beautiful. It was amazing to see a team with a fair number of minor leaguers punching the U.S. in the mouth like that. Here's an example. 21 year old starter Adam Loewen of the Baltimore Orioles (single-A) pitched a scoreless 3 2/3 against HOF American talent. That set the tone. No team with A Rod will ever win.

The U.S. needs to beat South Africa today. I think Clemens can handle that. At this point, however, they need some help, too. In the case of a WBC tie-breaker, runs allowed between the tied teams is the first tie-breaker. If Mexico beats Canada tonight, then there will be a three way tie (at 2-1) for the two available spots.

Here's how the runs allowed are shaking up so far.
Mexico (1-1) has given up 2
Canada (2-0) has give up 6
The U.S. (1-1) has given up 8

Let's assume that the U.S. beats South Africa. The U.S. will advance outright if Canada beats Mexico. The U.S. will also advance if Mexico beats Canada and scores at least 3 runs. It's simply amazing that it has come down to this. And all of this happens tonight. I am simply in heaven.

While watching the telecast, I was completely offended when Cubbie mistakenly suggested that Matt Stairs was the best product of Team Canada. He said something like, "After Matt Stairs, who do you think the next best player on Canada is?" Ridiculous. Let's just take a look at the offense numbers courtesy of baseball-reference.com.

Matt Stairs (age 37) – 162 Game Averages (Career Best)
BA .267 (.298)
OBP .361 (.389)
SLG .489 (.582)
RBI 87 (106)
Similar Players Through Age – Hank Sauer, Cliff Johnson, Bill Robinson

Jason Bay (age 26) – 162 Game Averages (Career Best)
BA .295 (.306)
OBP .387 (402)
SLG .553 (.559)
RBI 102 (101)
Similar Players Through Age – Marty Cordova, Hack Wilson, Jim Edmonds

The only Canadian today that might have an argument against Bay is Gagne, and he certainly isn't playing in this WBC. And again, that's comparing nectarines to clementines.

Tall Order

2006-03-07T22:48:00.000-06:00

I have been doing a bit of studying for board examinations lately which has translated into plenty of time squandering at various coffee shops. Already at this premature time in the post, you find yourself wondering how I am going to rank the coffee shops that I study at. Maybe I will bullet my favorites with a few buzzwords about each one. Maybe I will numerically rank them just because I can. That would be a very "blog" thing for me to do, and I'm not going to degrade myself like that today. This publication is more hard-hitting than that.

More importanly, for numerous reasons (both ethical and practical), it is impossible for me to rank coffee shops against one another. In my mind I have a list of my favorite places to study, and that's good enough for me. Mood, time, location, and availability often interplay in the sophisticated coffee shop matrix, which ultimately determines where I get my coffee on a particular day. Inter-coffee shop comparisons are completely irrelevant, very similar to when one attempts to compare apples to oranges, or probably more appropriate in this case, nectarines to clementines.

This evening I ended up at none of my favorites. After seeing that The Grind was 100% full when I passed by, I opted to escape the rain and study at a nearby Starbucks. I found it very odd that my coffee was free tonight. It was free because it still needed about 90 more seconds of brewing time when I ordered it. This means that I would have to remain coffee-less a few more endless moments than originally anticipated. It makes me uncomfortable to think that Starbucks' policy is that my coffee is free if I have to wait for an extra two minutes to get it. On the other hand, they may have just been quick to recognize my molten core of intense anger management issues thereby avoiding the serious altercation (involving hot freshly-brewed coffee) that was more than likely to ensue.

While enjoying my fresh coffee, I also got to sit by a very Chicago, very leather-jacketed, very slick-haired gentleman, very much in his mid 40s. Accent and all -- "You can't make money today like you could in the '80s."

Fry My Fish

2006-03-07T11:54:00.000-06:00

I have been spending most of my time the last couple of days thinking about fish. It's incredibly distracting. One of the things that I love about Lent is the abundance of Friday fish fries. I am always a sucker for fish ‘n chips, but when you make it a special deal, I don’t know what to do but get weak in the knees and hungry in the tummy. Perch is my favorite in the fried category.

So, I want to learn more about fish. I’d love to be able to buy, clean, and cook several varieties. I am excited for the weather to turn and the possibility of grilling fish. I have my eyes on a few different fish markets and am targeting reconnaissance trips to these locations in the upcoming weeks.

Good news is that it looks like Kip Wells will be back earlier than expected. He had a best possible scenario for his surgery yesterday and could be back in a few months. That certainly takes a bit of the consistency pressure away from some of the youngsters, but that doesn’t take away the fact that it is vital that the Buccos get out to a strong start.

I love the Pirates "Stats Geek". I love him because he calls the executive vice-president of Baseball Prospectus to help him write his articles. Today we learned that Jack Wilson (4 years/$24.7 M) might be a good deal for the Buccos. His analysis led to the following…

The Formula: If Jack Flash goes (BA/OBP/Slugging) this year, in a predictive fashion he will be worth (blank) million dollars over 4 years based on the current market.

.270/.312./.377 - $19.4 M
.278/.323/.374 - $23.775 M

This is a really complicated formula and takes into account predictions of production decreases with age, etc. Owing Jack just $10.45 M in the next two years (when the bulk of his production is expected to come), the Pirates may just have gotten that hometown discount. Those are conservative estimates of his numbers, too. Plus, he’s pretty much the best thing with leather that you can find between second and third base. While I hope this isn't the case, here's a guess that he'll be on the trading block in two years.

Everyone should buy the Destoyer “Destroyer’s Rubies” album. I say this without hesitancy. The first track “Rubies” comes in at somewhere around 9 minutes and just knocks my socks off. I was completely floored hearing this the first time and I haven’t said that in a long while. The song just builds, flows, and grows in an amazing way.

The new Neko is also due out today, but I’ll see if I can resist her charm for a week or two and hear what a few people have to say about this album first. Ok, maybe I won't.

Phil 4 Sale

2006-03-03T15:57:00.000-06:00

Big news from Dr. Phil today as he announced plans to sell both his Ferrari and Porsche in an upcoming Palm Beach auction. Similar to everyone I know, I find everything about Dr. Phil to be extremely enlightening and very important.

Let's get started with the 2002 Ferrari 360 Spider, shall we? The titanium cougar boasts chrome wheels and a blue convertible top with matching interior. It is powered by a 395-horsepower V8 engine, and as I'm sure Phil would agree, just screams stay in shape. You can own this fine piece of virilence for a mere $150,000.

But why stop there?

The good doctor's 2001 Gemballa Porsche Turbo is harnessed by a 415-horsepower 6-cylinder engine and upgraded performance suspension. More importantly, the exterior is sleek-Phil-black and this sweet ride is a steal at $100,000. It'll also keep your family together.

Notes:
1. Prices have not been inflated from market value even though these cars have been owned by Dr. Phil himself.
2. Unless you are buying Paul McCartney's vegan 2006 Cadillac STS at the same auction, you would be crazy not to buy these.

We've Got the Fünke

2006-03-02T14:00:00.000-06:00

Cats played a close one against OSU last night. Heartbreaking. Extremely unsatisfying to have the ball with 10 seconds, down by 1, and not get a shot off. It's time to look forward to a Saturday night showdown with the Gophers. The plans are to tailgate prior to the game and then cheer like it's senior night from whistle to whistle. As a fan of Big 10 basketball, I promise to show good sportsmanship before, after, and during the game.

The Onion recently ran this feature, Random Rules, in which fringe celebrities free-associate about songs found on their Ipods. Here are choice snippets (gurs! excerpts previously unpublished).

Shania Twain, "Come On Over"

DC Berman: I love Shania. Shania Twain's singles on that Come On Over record influenced my own playing, as far as emphasis and stuff. She's not here in town very much; they stay up on this mountain in Switzerland. I just see [Twain and producer/husband "Mutt" Lange] on top of the world on this mountain, making this pretty great music. I like that song, "That Don't Impress Me Much." She kinda does these talking parts in the middle, and I think of it as, like, this place where music bumped up against Hollywood romantic comedies.

gurs!: Even for me, this is a little bit too cliché, and I would not have expected DC Berman to pretend that Shania has influenced his music. Could you really imagine DC sitting in his recliner at home, listening to the entire "Come on Over" album front to back? Also, everytime I hear the name Shania Twain now, I picture her biting into a tuna/chicken salad sandwich (I Heart Huckabees).

Belle And Sebastian, "It Could Have Been A Brilliant Career"

Isaac Brock: These guys have catchy songs. I just wish they weren't such a one-fuckin'-trick pony.

gurs!: I don't know what this mean exactly. You have to remember that Modest Mouse comes from thousands of different directions. In Brock's defense, I guess there are at least two tricks on his end. The one that didn't make money and then the one that did.

Guided By Voices, "Buzzards And Dreadful Crows"

David Cross (a.k.a. Tobias Fünke): [Bee Thousand] was the first Guided By Voices CD that I had. I got it, listened to it, and didn't really think about it or care about it either way. Then I had a gig in Irvine, and I was running late and grabbed a bunch of CDs and threw 'em in my car—that was one of 'em. I was playing it on the way back from the gig, and I was like, "Holy shit, this is amazing!" I had to look at the cover, like, "Who is this? This is great!" Then I became a huge fan. Same thing kinda happened with the first Pavement record. I bought some stuff for a drive down the PCH, from San Francisco back to L.A., and my little tradition when I was up there working… I would come back down and get really high and jacked-up on coffee and get a bunch of CDs. I bought that one and listened to it and was like, "This sucks! What the fuck is this?" I was angry. And then it came back around on my disc changer and I heard it that second time, and it was genius. Pure genius.

gurs!: Rawk. He just gets better and better.

Bonus for First Read in a Long Time

2006-03-01T01:39:00.000-06:00

Here is an old entry from 11/18/02. I know we are nearing the end of winter, but I wanted to provide a little bit of an extra treat. This is hard-hitting.

It also appears that I used to write in all lowercase. How uncouth.

Whitelisted

i think it's important to be frank. the winter is coming and it would please me greatly to see everyone well-prepared for this harshest of seasons. therefore, i have composed a short list of winter essentials that can make these next several months more enjoyable for everyone involved. remember, even though a penny saved is a penny earned, no price can be put on having appropriate winter gear.

1. hat. everyone needs a winter hat. the keys to a good hat are one that is able to maintain an inner warm capsule even against strong winter gales and one that has good ear coverage. while finding a stylish hat may seem important, please do not overlook functionality. potential substitutes include the winter headband and earmuffs for those concerned about messing up their hair, but the latter is definitely not recommended for most climates.

2. gloves. we all love our hands so let's act like we do, too. get a good pair of gloves and you will thank yourself every time you step outside. try to find a pair where you have some level of dexterity with the gloves on. taking off your gloves for every small activity can really put a damper on good insulation. cuff coverage is also desirable.

3. scarf. i will argue that this is the most overlooked yet essential winter-protection component. a good scarf will prevent wind drafts from blowing into the top of your coat, and if worn properly will cover your entire neck and, if desired, your lower face as well. there are several ways to wear a scarf, but a description of those methods is well beyond the scope of this list.

4. lip balm. protect your lips like you do any other part of your body. chapped bloody lips can be painful to yourself and unattractive to others.

5. hand moisturizer. primary prevention against hangnails. let's get them this year before they start.

6. thick socks. this is especially important if you live in a house/apartment with cold floors. often times your entire body will feel cold when it is just your feet that are cold. sometimes i even wear shoes indoors if the situation really gets out of control.

7. hot cocoa packets and canned chicken soup. there is no match for warm liquids in your body after a long trek through the frigid elements. remember, you deserve this.

no one should have to endure winter alone. hopefully these simple tips will help you have the best winter season yet. i have tried to cover the basics as thoroughly as possible on this short list, but please share any important exclusions.

The Arms Race in Bradenton

2006-03-01T00:41:00.000-06:00

Gurs started blogging again. Blah Blah Blah. Take note of the new look. That's an older banner above (circa 2003) and I may or may not get to some housekeeping with that in the near future.

Onward. This evening marked the last day of my 8-week group tennis lessons at SPAC. The winter course was an amazing amount of fun and ended with a fantastic 2 on 2 dink 'em tournament. More spectacular may have been my 30 minute drive from work to SPAC that finished with a two minute locker room change and 50 cent racket rental. The series of events left me with three solid conclusions.

1. I play much better with a regular-sized racket (vs. extra long).
2. My car will break soon.
3. I would like to play more tennis.

Alright, let's slow down. I need to take a break so we can talk about something. One on one. It's about this site. You see, this new site isn't going to be about the minutiae of my life. Forget everything you read in the paragraph before. Instead I am going to hit the issues hard on the head. Seriously. This is going to be a hard-hitting blog.

The following section is about the Pittsburgh baseball Pirates. I consider this to be hard-hitting.

A few days ago consistently inconsistent Pirates starter Kip Wells (yawning above) was found to have a blood clot in his swollen throwing arm. This discovery most likely means he will have to undergo a surgical correction procedure on his arm, which will relieve him from duty for the remainder of the season.

This leaves the Buccos with three very young starters in Oliver Perez, Zach Duke, and Paul Maholm, who put together have a collective age of 69 (only 20 starts between Duke and Maholm). The last two spots in the rotation will somehow have to get split between Ian Snell (maybe good enough to start), Ryan Vogelsong (not good enough to start), Victor Santos (wasn't that great in Milwaukee), Sean Burnett (coming off double-arm surgery), and Tom Gorzelanny (not enough experience for majors yet).

On the flip-side, Kip Wells (yawning above) was a shaky 8-18 with a 5.08 earned run average last season. Perhaps the void can be filled.

Pledge Thee Victory and Honor

2005-10-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

It becomes very difficult to concentrate on life when the Wildcats are in this position. We are once again media darlings, and I say that because that is exactly the verbage the press uses: “Media Darlings Northwestern face…”. This week the “…” has been lower-ranked underachieving yet red-hot Michigan.

The last thing that crossed my mind before sleep last night was the Wildcats, and the first thing that popped into my mind this morning was the Wildcats and that beautiful “Rawr” sound that echoes through the noble confines of Ryan Field (I have been hearing it for years, that same cat meows at Carl A. Newman Stadium in Wexford, PA and at Beaver Stadium in Happy Valley).

I am getting a bit nervous about all the publicity. Today’s Online Tribune printed a poll where 67% favored the Cats to win (against 23% for Michigan) and the Sun-Times ran an article entitled “Call him the Golden Brett”. Last night during VT’s thrashing of BC, ESPN plugged the NU game early and often, with Herbstreit proclaiming that NU was for real, and Basanez (which he pronounced Bass-a-nez) and Sutton were forces to be reckoned with. Then he asked Tirico if he remembered that NU Michigan shootout from a few years back. “Wasn’t that like four of five years ago? Wasn’t the score something like 51-48?” Not bad, Kirk, that’s not too far off at all.

And yesterday Randy Walker issued his concerns. "I knew it was going to be a problem Sunday when I woke up. It's natural. You have some success and good fortune, and people are stopping me on the street. Most people driving by me the last three years have been giving me obscene gestures. Now they're stopping: 'Hey, Coach, great win.' So I know what [the players are] getting.''

More than anything else, though, I am just excited. It is a terrific blessing to be in this position to begin with. I am looking forward to a full day of tailgating with friends from all around. Let’s Go Cats!

Befitting, Bold and Beautiful

2005-10-21T15:39:00.000-05:00

I just love to shop. Well, that only is when I don’t have something particular that I need to buy. Last night fell into the “I’m looking for something specific category”, and I haven’t had this much shopping frustration since an episode early this spring (That was when trying to buy a certain former Baker a wedding gift off a depleted registry. She almost ended up with a spice rack, and I am very hard-pressed to think of a way that she might use that).

Well, last night the mission was actually quite simple. Obtain a fresh shirt and tie, fun, young, and bold, to complement my charcoal gray suit for a weekend wedding. I went into the mission with the idea of playing the pinks (Kanye influenced) or the greens (autumn influenced), and throughout the night visited Marshall Fields, Nordstroms, Express, Banana Republic, Filene’s Basement, H&M, Lord & Taylor, and Filene’s Basement again. I thought that I had “got a bargain at Filene’s” last night, pink shirt and tie in hand, and after hours of shopping ran into an old friend on the street. Very excited to see her, I took out my pinks and asked, “What d’you think?” She said no, and I was influenced enough to run back to Filene’s to return the tie right before the stroke of nine.

So, today, I will be back at it, and aim to find a tie that is befitting, bold, and beautiful. I was envisioning something along the lines of strong alternating pink and blue diagonal stripes. I am pretty sure that would be befitting, bold, and beautiful.

Also, I fell asleep again talking to SuperRud last night. This has happened so many times that it's completely embarrassing (for me). After our phone call ended last night, my cell phone displayed something along the lines of 46 minutes. The crazy part is that I am pretty sure that I was only conscious for about the first 20-25 minutes. Hopefully Rud does not read that part.

Lastly, artists who have put out newer albums that I am considering buying and haven’t yet.

Animal Collective
Depeche Mode
Kanye West
Silver Jews

Any Thoughts?

You Only Get to Eat Three Times a Day

2005-10-18T13:29:00.000-05:00

Why not dine like a king? I would like to discuss recent experience at two of America’s finest eateries.

Saturday Night at the Olive Garden – Lincolnwood, IL

Easily one of the finest (and lovely) weekend evenings I’ve had in a while. Albeit a 65 minute wait, unlimited pasta, bread sticks, and salad for $7.95 is simply a steal (and not gross at all). The finest of company was in attendance and I was able to consume 1 and 1/8 bowls of pasta before packing the remaining 7/8 bowl of pasta for a whining Pedro. I also noted several dates in the vicinity of our table during the meal and added it as a mental note for my winning moves database.

As a side note, this is only the third or fourth time that I’ve dined in Lincolnwood. The initial experience was in the Spring of 2000 on a trip to the Linconlwood Town Centre Chili’s with Rico and Unstadt. On that fateful night Unstadt ordered the guilt-free chicken sandwich that will forever live in infamy.

An Evening at PF Chang’s – Northbrook, IL

As this was only last night, still fresh in my mind is the love/hate relationship of the smooth, crisp lettuce with the spicy, sweet chicken, that was all delivered with a P.F. Pow in a simple, traditional wrap. The rest of the food was mediocre, but what was sacrificed in taste, was more than gained in atmosphere. It was a pleasure dining with the Northbrook elite, but I was left out as I had neither an evening sports coat nor a collar to flip-up while noshing on my steamed pork dumplings.

Of note, I had just about the best tea that I’ve ever had last night after swinging by Barnes & Noble after the meal. The bag was Harney and Sons Hot Cinnamon Sunset, and the experience was to die for.

The Rud Who Cried Salsa Chicken

2005-10-13T14:47:00.000-05:00

So a friend of mine, who I shall leave unnamed, has been talking up the Rud family salsa chicken recipe. So much so that a lazy birdie was convinced that this is a recipe that needed to be tried out.

Here’s the recipe, which you can imagine would naturally issue some level of skepticism.

Preheat oven to 300F.
Place chicken breasts in a baking dish, cover with salsa.
Bake for 30 minutes.
Enjoy.

At best, this chicken recipe ranks slightly less than mediocre. However, a promise was made that the salsa would sweeten as the baking process ensued, a promise I do not feel was fulfilled. In the end, the recipe essentially tasted like bland baked chicken topped with salsa. Now, it's difficult for me to become too upset about all of this, but I still feel that a statement needs to be made. I believe that this man, who spits out exclamation points and superlatives willy-nilly, perhaps needs to learn to temper his enthusiasm just a little bit. This especially pertains to things that aren’t that good.

Well, let me say that I would love to be proved wrong on this one. I just don’t see that happening without a more respectable recipe.

The boy who cried wolf? Try, the Rud who cried salsa chicken.

The New (Old) Slang Sound

2005-10-11T16:38:00.000-05:00

So, I have spent the last several months thinking that I didn’t really like “Garden State”. I remember really enjoying it in the theater and then somewhere since in-between I decided that it wasn’t really for me (probably a pathetic reaction to popularity?). Well, I caught it for my second time last night, sans the first fifteen minutes (it was on one of the HBOs from about midnight to 2am), and it just made me feel really good. Then I put on my new pair of headphones and listened to “New Slang” while falling asleep. Well, I know that is a sappy move, but what can you do? In summary, “Garden State” just makes me feel good about life. Plus, its hard to hate on a Wildcat.

I should have purchased over-the-ear headphones long ago. I used the money I made from being a research participant over the weekend to buy a moderately nice pair of over-the-ear headphones. Its not hard to classify this as the best purchase I have made in a while (outside of an American Apparel brown pant, but far superior to Madden 2006 for the PS2), and my whole head has just been spinning with all of the new sounds coming to life out of a lot of old records. I think the cans will also serve a dual-role as earmuffs in the winter month as well. Embarrassingly, I am really excited to fully ensconce myself in the new Deerhoof album tonight.

That is only after the ALCS, of course. Oh you, gotta love it. Baseball playoffs are so dynamic that I watched most of the ALDS last night, preferentially to the Steelers Charges MNF match-up. I wasn’t sure how I was going to react to that dilemma, but I guess I know now (It also trumped the Penguins first nationally televised game on OLN, perhaps more on that later).

My last juicy tidbit is that rumor has it that Angels starter pitcher Paul Byrd does not touch the alcohol, so he should not be hung over today on the mound from all of yesterday’s bubbly. So, maybe just really really tired.

Weather Corrections Officer

2005-10-07T13:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, well I am pretty sure that it wasn't snowing earlier. And I am really not sure why someone would feel the need to lie about something like that. Maybe it makes you popular for a little bit, but in the end it's just going to hurt your reputation. You have to know that. I apologize for my admission of the possible snow earlier, but as my responsibility as a serious journalist, I have set the record straight. It is seriously cold, though, and I am in search of the hottest of drinks.

Also I can't wait to change the picture of Becky Crown on the side from clockw.jpg to clockp.jpg this weekend. Go Cats!

White October 7th?

2005-10-07T11:40:00.000-05:00

I just heard word throughout the department that it is snowing outside right now. I just don't believe it. I will have to go investigate.

The Boys of Indian Summer

2005-10-06T10:13:00.000-05:00

Don’t be upset with me when I say that I am pretty happy that we have reached the end of this most current Indian summer. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it. Because I did. Spent some time eating outside, grilling, taking longer walks, etc. It’s just that I love autumn so much. It makes the baseball playoffs so much more relevant. It makes football seem so appropriate. This morning the brisk air felt so perfect. I am just afraid that all of this is going to throw us into a deep freeze. I can’t wait to go apple picking and pumpkin hunting sometime very soon.

Another piece of perfect was coffee and a pumpkin muffin this morning at the Perfect Cup. The Perfect Cup is the world’s most perfect coffee shop. It’s warm, comfortably quiet, and cozy. Most importantly, the coffee is really good, too. The Perfect Cup can be found at the NW corner of Damen and Leyland. Cubbie said that he had his best studying evening of the year two days ago at the Perfect Cup. I feel like the town matchmaker.

Needless to say, playoff baseball has been great. Unfortunately, last night I missed the CWS prolific 5th, but was pleased to see Jenks close things out. Watching Rivera two nights ago was even more spectacular. Whenever you see him on the mound you just think playoff baseball.

Lastly, here is an amazing email that I received from one Billy Twilight that I wanted to share:

Speaking of ironies...
I recently went out to a fancy restaurant, and I wanted to put on some cologne. (I have two sample vials I wanted to use up before I bought anything for real). Well I went to reach for one in my cabinet and they other one fell -- bouncing off my sink -- landing on the edge of the toilet bowl -- up in the air and into the toilet water where the vial instantly shattered. As I was cleaning up the shards of my freshly scented toilet bowl, I couldn't help but think about what L'eau d'toilette meant.

You Cannot Separate an Indian From His Chat*

2005-09-29T16:07:00.000-05:00

I just joined a Yahoo Sudoku Group after seeing it receives about 2-3 email messages a day. I really just wanted to see what it was all about. I am hoping to find some good free Internet Sudoku sites, or better yet, learn some advanced techniques. Anyway, a cursory glance through the archives was all I needed. I almost feel bad posting this. This really should not be published on the Internet in two different places:

From: "krishna_knt"
Date: Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:58 pm
Subject: Re: SuDoKu Chat

do u plz tell me which time zone
and 3 pm of which time zone on sunday
as i am from india
and if is this time of london
then i think at the same it will be 7:30 pm here or more as i donot
know the exact time difference between the time zone of india and
england
bye

*Chat is also an Indian snack.

Gurs Appleseed

2005-09-28T12:22:00.000-05:00

Lucky me because I just finished a fresh apple with fat free caramel dip at my desk. The 2 oz of caramel in the single serve packet is super-convenient, but also way too much. After the first half of the apple, I had finished maybe 0.5 oz. So I was left to finish the last 1.5 oz with the second half of the apple. And believe it or not, I did it, but only with a little extra help from some of the red and green grapes sitting at my desk. By the way, grapes and caramel aren’t really the best of friends. My keyboard is also mostly sticky now.

There has also been a lot of talk recently from my mother’s end about the apple pie that she has commissioned me to make over Thanksgiving. She keeps asking me if my apple pie is the best in the county, and I believe when she asks me that, that she is poking fun at me. I just happened to mention over the summer to my parents that one of the Wisconsin beer barons claimed my fresh cherry pie (with Door County cherries) was better than any he had ever had in Door County. And I really think that means something coming from a beer baron. I asked Shah if the baron was sincere, and at that time he confirmed that the baron wasn’t exaggerating. Almost instantaneously I was overwhelmed with a sense of personal pride and satisfaction, and thusly the story lives on.

Well, anyway, I need to get some practice apple pies in before the big show in Pittsburgh in November. Whoever is around the square this fall is in for a real treat. Second round of pies is scheduled for consumption October 28-30. That is Homecoming Weekend, and they will be served as dessert after we devour fresh wolverine pot pies for the main course.

Unfortunately, none of our Pirates tidbit suggestions to Dejan Kovacevic were chosen, so we will have to wait another time for that Thai Iced Tea. Dejan ended up going with “Buried Treasure”, and that’s what I think these Buccos are. Last night’s Pirates Cubs baseball game was all that I could ask for in a meaningless September game. Celebrate the old and in with the new.

A Few Extras

2005-09-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

With two football losses in hand (one really bad, one ok), I saved the best part of my weekend for last. Cubbie, Turducken, and LSF came over for the HBO season premier of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” followed by the HBO/BBC series premier of “Extras” starring Ricky Gervais.

I must’ve really wanted to laugh because seeing Larry David “drowning” in the opening scene had my sides in stitches. Maybe a little bit too much yelling in that show, but its all super funny. Plus, I didn’t know what Sable was until last night. “Extras” is a show that might be a little too British for my tastes, but one that I am pretty sure will grow on me throughout the season. Some of the concepts are the same, where Ricky Gervais is the socially inappropriate counterpart of Larry David (but not nearly as inflammatory). The story follows the lives of a couple extras on different movie sets, which leaves the opportunity for various famous guest stars. Yesterday Kate Winslet played herself playing a nun, and next week Ben Stiller will be guest starring. I think that “Extras” should prove to be bloody good, but hopefully not too British.

Also, I am extremely juiced for Tuesday night’s Cubs v. Pirates at Wrigley. It’s going to be Duke vs. Maddux, and perhaps I needlessly say that Maddux will be going for his 14th win tomorrow. A win he will need in order to reach 15 this season. Maddux has had 15 wins 17 seasons a row, an astonishing stat, and was granted the start on Tuesday with three days rest to help make it 18. Duke beat Maddux the first time around, and this has the classic makings of a youth vs. experience showdown. At 1.94 right now, I’d love for Duke to finish the season with an ERA under 2.00.

Honus Bonuses?

2005-09-21T19:05:00.000-05:00

I really love the PG Pirates beat writer, Dejan Kovacevic. This is his first year doing the Buccos (he used to cover the Penguins and made the switch pre-Crosby), he still believes in the Pirates, and consequently I look forward to his Q&A Mailbag every Wednesday. The topics are often more AAA related than on the Major League level, but that's all we got, and he always finds something to get excited about. Anyway, his closing this week is really getting my juices going, and I think this is a great opportunity to strike it famous.

***************************************

In closing, a favor to ask of the readership ...
I have spent part of the past three or four days trying to think up a new name for the final segment of the daily Pirates notebook, something other than "North Side notches." It is not that I have any problem with it per se. It is more that I think it is strange to use that as the subhead when I am on the road. Same thing with the "Bradenton Bits" I used during spring training. Seemed kind of stupid when I was filing from Fort Myers.

Anyway, I bombed out. I have nothing.

And I need help.

It could be one nickname that works year-round, or it could be one for spring training and one for the regular season. Other guidelines: No "Bucs" or "Buccos," as per newspaper style. And no "Pirates" in the term, either. The label says "Pirates notebook," so that would be redundant. It cannot be more than two words or, at the most, three short words to fit in a newspaper's column width.

Other than that, go nuts. You see a lot of newspapers use general baseball type things such as "Extra bases" and the like. I really would prefer to have something specific to the Pirates.

Just to give you some idea of how bankrupt I was in coming up with stuff for this, the last, best idea I had was "Honus bonuses."

Seriously.

Help.

The winner gets a mega-sized Thai tea on me from the little place on Sixth Street. It will keep you up for three days, but it is worth it.

***************************************

Any Ideas?? All I have come up with so far is 'Tekulve's Closers' and 'Bumblebee Buzz" And just to help out, I have included a list of Pirates HOFers:

Jake Beckley, Jim Bunning, Max Carey, Jack Chesbro, Fred Clarke, Roberto Clemente, Joe Cronin, Kiki Cuyler, Pud Galvin, Hank Greenberg, Burleigh Grimes, Ned Hanlon, Billy Herman, Waite Hoyt, Joe Kelley, George Kelly, Ralph Kiner, Chuck Klein
Freddy Lindstrom, Al Lopez, Connie Mack, Heinie Manush, Rabbit Maranville, Bill Mazeroski, Willie Stargell, Casey Stengel, Pie Traynor, Dazzy Vance, Arky Vaughan, Rube Waddell, Honus Wagner, Lloyd Waner, Paul Waner, and Vic Willis

Grandpa JoePa

2005-09-21T10:55:00.000-05:00

This one comes courtesy of Turducken, and I don't think this even necessitates any commentary from my part. I don't believe in poking fun at Paterno, but some of this just seems silly. Don't forget, though, they are the ones who are undefeated.

Talk about Northwestern’s offense, particularly their running back, Tyrell Sutton?

JoePa: Is that the freshman kid? He is quick as a cat. He is out of Ohio. We had looked at him and we worried about his size. Northwestern is a very, very clever football team. Randy Walker has done a great job with the quarterback keeping the ball, option and that kind of thing. They will be tough offensively. They are very similar to the first couple of teams we played. I think a lot of people don’t realize how good the quarterback was from Central Michigan (Kent Smith). He is a great athlete, a big-time athlete. He is big, strong, has a nice throwing motion and the whole bit. I think Northwestern is in the same kind of mode. They can do a lot…spread you out, run the quarterback, spread you out and give it to the freshman kid. We have our hands full. There is no question about that.

Ozzie is Losing It

2005-09-20T12:30:00.000-05:00

I was fortunate enough to score tickets (although I suppose I could have just bought some at the gate) for last night’s Indians v. Sox game at US Cellular Field. Playoff atmosphere was in the air, with the cheers and jeers at an uncomfortably incredible level. I haven’t been to such an electric game for quite a while, maybe since the early 90s Buccos. The game lasted 3 hours 31 minutes as Freddy Garcia got knocked around a bit early and Kevin Millwood seriosly deliberated on every pitch, but you couldn’t ask for a better scenario as Paul Konerko came to the plate with 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth, down two runs, with Sox on first and second. A two-strike pop-up to the right fielder was your ballgame, but what an amazing moment of anticipation. I really don’t think the Sox are going to make the playoffs this year. All the clutch hits came from the Tribe.

I must say that I was particularly impressed yesterday by the scoreboard graphics. I hadn’t been to US Cellular all season, and the resolution on the scoreboard from across the stadium was simply astounding. At one point, a close-up of Jermaine Dye’s head on the scoreboard looked like a giant 3D version of his head that had been placed inside the scoreboard. Astounding! I can only imagine what it’s like to see that as you walk from the on-deck circle to the batter’s box. Even the horribly brilliant red face of the Indian’s Chief Wahoo looked beautiful to me from the other side of the park.

Now, as much as I really want to love US Cellular, it just doesn’t hold a flame to being at a game at Wrigley. I have tried and tried. And I don’t care what people say about Cubs fans. Wrigley is truly a classic ballpark where the beauty of the field compliments the game of baseball in a way that can’t be fabricated. US Cellular seems like a futuristic stage that’s more in line with something like the hard-hitting, image-savvy NFL. This would be a great stage for Michael Vick. Fireworks and all.

And for whatever reasons, between the batsmen during the game, live organ (or even recorded organ for that matter) is just so much better than hip-hop and classic rock.

Frosh Slosh

2005-09-15T17:10:00.000-05:00

I received a very amusing and endearing phone call today. This one came from a Pittsburgh come Evanston friend, who is now an incoming freshman at my shining alma mater (Go Cats!).

gurs: Oh yeah, J! Good to hear from you. What's going on?
J: Not too much. Hey, where are you?
gurs: At work.
J: Oh. Where do you work?
gurs: At Children's Hospital
J: In Chicago?
gurs: Yep. So are you in Evanston yet?
J: Hey, can you buy us alcohol tonight?
gurs: Sure, of course.
J: Ok, well, we are going to be downtown tonight at some gathering and thought it might suck without some alcohol.
gurs: Sure, I can understand that. Where are you going to be?
J: I don't know, like State and Grand or something.
gurs: Ok, well, that's really not close to me at all. Hmmm. What time do you think you'll be leaving Evanston tonight? I have a friend who works up there that just might be nice enough to help us out.
J: Like 8 or 9.
gurs: Ok, well, what would you like us to get you?
J: What do you mean?
gurs: You know, like what kind of alcohol do you want?
J: Ummm... I don't know. Hey, what do you guys want? (No audible response). I like rum?
gurs: Sure, how much would you like me to get you?
J: Ummm...I don't know.
gurs: Ok, how many of you are going to be going?
J: Three
gurs: So probably one handle should suffice, don't you think?
J: Yeah, sure.
gurs: Do you have any preferences?
J: Ummm...
gurs: Ok, I'll just figure it out for you.
J: Thanks.

The conversation went on a bit from there, and subsequently I was able to solicit an Evanston hook-up to facilitate the deal. My connection delivered a fifth of Captain Morgan's out of the trunk of her car directly and covertly into a black messenger bag in the Sports and Aquatics Center parking lot.

J was also super good and out of the kindness of his heart presented a gift which comprised of a 2005-2006 Bobb-McCulloch dorm T-shirt and a box of fruit roll-ups. Both presents were graciously accepted, and I consider that a pretty good trade.

Autumn: What a Season!

2005-09-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

This morning the cool air from my window roused me around 5:30 am, and so refreshing it was that I decided to start my day a little early. Recently I have decided that autumn is my most favorite of all the seasons, and with the autumnal equinox merely days away, I decided that it should be celebrated so. Walking out of my apartment this morning, the first thing I noted was the crispness of the air in my lungs and a cool splash of it on my face. Secondly, four trees struck my eye. Their leaves had already traded their greens for various reds and oranges. Two of them had decided to start littering the sidewalk and street in such a way that made my heart swell.

Football is now in full swing and long sleeves will soon become the norm. Coming off several consecutive days of 90 degree weather, the chalkboard outside Beans and Bagels this morning which read, “Grab an ice-cold drink on the last 90 degree day of the year," already seemed quite dated. Yes, there are plenty of things to rejoice about now, so let this stand as a plea to you, Mr. Jack Frost. Please give us some time to enjoy our weather change and allow us to soak in the cooling warm spectrum. Give us all of that before you decided it’s time to show us our breath once again.

What's In This Fall?

2005-09-12T12:17:00.000-05:00

So, I ran into a man from Pittsburgh at both the NU football game and the Steelers bar this weekend. Our encounters were and always have been strained and our history is a bit interesting.

I actually first met this man at a friend’s wedding in May and have not particularly had great interactions with him since. At this wedding (which was quite wonderful, by the way), the man and I accidentally grabbed each other’s suit coats instead of our own. A day later I was able to track him down from the name tag he left in his coat pocket and a bit of Internet savvy. It turned out that he lived in NYC, worked for InStyle magazine, and had my jacket. The man used his fashionable company account to FedEx my suit coat to me, and I dropped the ball and did not send him his back for 3-4 days. Soon after, I received an anticipating phone call from him and in a rush before a morning interview I had, I grabbed the jacket from the railing post, threw it in the box, and FedExed it back to InStyle.

Well, as it goes, in two days upon his receipt of the coat, I received another phone call from fashion HQ. It turns out that I had actually sent one of Turducken’s old torn coats in the mail to InStyle magazine, and after it was mockingly photographed for a fall issue, another exchange of packages had to me made. I was somehow able to blame the entire gaffe on my lazy friend, saying that she was somehow involved and absent-mindedly screwed up, thus saving me from looking like a complete dolt. I am sure, however, that his final impressions were that I was largely an idiot, and I know that my final impressions of him are that he is rude and conceited.

Update: This man has now moved to Chicago to “free-lance”, which means I am going to have to fake act that I think he is an ok guy the rest of the football season. As long as the Steelers and Cats keep winning, though, I think it will all be ok.

Hungry Man

2005-09-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

Finally took in the final episode of Six Feet Under last night and have decided that it is probably the most amazing television series that I have ever seen. These characters are incredible, and even having only watched very sporadically before this season, it still hurt a lot to have to say goodbye. A new life project of mine is going to be to watch the entire series again, from the very beginning to the very end. I hope to complete this task before I finish my residency.

Seeing the Wildcats win, Steelers win, and SuperRud this weekend just makes me hungry for more of all three this fall. All of these things are going to happen, and it’s the anticipation of the frequency that makes each week all the more exciting.

Deutsche-Amerikanisch

2005-09-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

Last night's German American Fest in Lincoln Square was crowded. Perhaps its the city's last outdoor summer festival, I walked home with 5 German American plastic steins last night and fading memories of a good evening. Got to hang with Em-Dubs for the first time in a while and ran into RA SA on some kind of date.

I am too excited to see the cats take on NIU for the battle of Illinois today. I wish I could watch ND Mich this afternoon, but I need to get the Escort with a rear spoiler towed. Also OSU UT looks very interesting for the night. College football is just too good. Except for Ohio beating Pitt yesterday. That's just embarrassing considering the way the cats demolished them the week before.

Oops, time to go. I will continue this later.

That Dark Seaweed That Tastes Good At Any Hour

2005-09-07T18:05:00.000-05:00

It turns out that I am sitting at work waiting on something right now, not knowing when I will be able to move on it, and seriously hoping that it happens in the next hour or so. My ten hour slumber last night has put me in much better position to face the day today, yet I continue to grow antsy, most likely since I decided that I am not going to do anything else for the day while I'm here.

Oh, baby, last night was a super time. Cubbie, Turducken and I had a feast at 24 Hour Korean Restaurant, but only after we consumed fresh mango salsa and High Lifes at the gurs pad. Turducken and I prepared the salsa, and Cubbie just tore into it. Cubbie also tore into his High Life, and I think it's safe to say that after spending a summer in L.A., he has now moved on the list from worst/slowest drinker to best/fastest drinker. 24 Hour Korean Restaurant almost failed to supply us the dark seaweed that looks like chewing tobacco and is one of the tastier complementary side dish snacks, however that situation was necessarily rectified by the hungry men of 1206.

General Mac

2005-09-06T16:58:00.000-05:00

For some reason I was unable to shake my fatigue the entire weekend. I think the rash of distance driving, prohibitively early flights, alcohol, and lack of sleep all contributed. It's an odd sensation feeling tired again. Tired was basically my baseline the last few years, but for the most part I have successfully avoided sleepiness since starting a regular work week this year. Hopefully tonight will see some good slumber once again.

It is expected that today the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to announce the firing of Lloyd McClendon. I am truly saddened to see this happen, but maybe I shouldn't be. Perhaps as a Pirates fan I should except more than the 5 losing seasons that General Mac has put up (13 overall for the franchise, and counting). In my eyes, however, his fire and enthusiasm for the game is unmatched, and I can't help think that he was always playing against a stacked deck. His love for the players, the game, and his commitment to the organization were put on display everytime he ran out onto the field to have an altercation with an ump or manager. I have never seen any other skipper pick up first base and just take it.

At the same time, I am excited about a clean start for the franchise. The best young crop of players the Buccos have seen in quite awhile are quickly ripening. As the youngest team in the National League, the only possible course is up (supposing we hold on to our young men). Its about time to capitalize! New blood certainly can't hurt when you are tied with the Rockies for worst record in the NL.

I am so sorry Lloyd, but its time to move on. Don't think I don't love you, because I really do. I wish you the best in your career. Hopefully you get to be a major league coach again someday, hopefully in a better situation. Someday both you and the Pirates will get to play baseball in October yet again. I truly believe that. Let's not forget your five swings, five homers in the 1971 LLWS. Anything can happen.

Escort Me Home

2005-09-01T20:35:00.000-05:00

With a 6 am flight to PGH tomorrow morning, I don't think I am going much of anywhere tonight. This also means that I am stuck cooking whatever is in the house, and since I don't feel like thawing chicken breasts, Trader Joe's potstickers and edamame are going to round out the menu.

CTA trip planner puts me on a 4:09 am bus and 4:42 am train to arrive at O'Hare by 4:56. My goal is to leave the house at 4:00 am sharp.

I am sad to say that the Escort with a rear spoiler may be seeing the end of its days. The good Cubbie and I ran through our roadside diagnostics and decided the problem is serious enough to warrant a tow to the garage. This is something I aim to tackle when I return from PGH/NJ next Tuesday. A small expense may warrant a fix, but a big expense may mean farewell to my blue-green princess. I decided to share how the escort looks in its full glory from inside to out, in both car and wagon forms.

Note: These photos are not of my escort. I actually own zero photographs of my own vehicle. I completely regret this combination of sloth and oversight.

I have been loving all the hot action on hot blog lately.

IBroken

2005-08-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

I thought it was pretty bad last week when my IPod wasn’t functioning right. To summarize, when docking my IPod to my computer, Itunes refuses to acknowledge its existence. Furthermore, whenever an attempt is made to have the two rendezvous, the computer flashes a blue error screen and the machine promptly restarts. Other machines seem to have the same problem with the GursPod, which causes me to just throw my hands in the air. The following are the repercussions:

1. I cannot load any more music onto my IPod.
2. I cannot listen to music in my dining room by docking IPod to the computer.
3. I cannot easily make mixed CDs with my full arsenal of music.
4. I did not purchase the new Kanye West album yesterday.

The Sunday night ITunes purchase I made of Stevie Wonder’s “For Once in My Life” has been a little bittersweet. All I want to do is jive with it all over the city, but unfortunately it has been stuck on my desktop at home. There is something so very good about Stevie Wonder. That song has lifted my spirits.

Well, yesterday evening another one of my gadgets broke, and that was my 95 Escort with a spoiler on the back. I thought that you were supposed to get good karma for helping someone move, but in my case it backfired, as my car completely gave up on functioning somewhere on the trip to my friend’s new apartment. The Escort steamed, sputtered, and stalled and is now stranded in a legal spot in what I suppose is technically Garfield Park. So, onward and upward, and today I intend to return to the car by daylight in an attempt to solve this mystery.

Also, happy 30th wedding anniversary to Dad and Mom today. That's pretty awesome.

Musical Chairs

2005-08-30T12:46:00.000-05:00

Overwhelmed by the Reader last week. This is the heaviest Sept/Oct concert rotation I have ever seen in Chicago. I would attend any of these shows, but financial limitations are in the mix.

09/11: Rogue Wave - Empty Bottle
09/14: Bloc Party - Congress Theatre
09/15: Prefuse 73 - Abbey Pub
09/16: Sufjan Stevens - Metro
09/17: Sufjan Stevens - Metro
09/20: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Metro
09/20: Franz Ferdinand - Aragon
09/25: Deerhoof - Logan Square Auditorium

10/01: Lucinda Williams - the Vic
10/06: Sleater-Kinney - Metro
10/07: Fiery Furnaces - Logan Square Auditorium
10/08: Built to Spill - Metro
10/13: Mountain Goats - Open End Gallery
10/14: Mountain Goats - Empty Bottle
10/18: Decemberists - Metro
10/19: Decemberists - Metro
10/20: New Pornographers - Metro
10/21: LCD Soundsystem - the Vic
10/29: Go! Team - Metro

Notes:
1. I have a ticket already to see Sufjan Stevens on 09/16
2. This list does not include the 09/28 sold out Arcade Fire show at the Riviera
3. Comments have been removed because of spam. I think I will relaunch with haloscan when i get a chance.

Sodoku Ninja Slain

2005-08-26T16:50:00.000-05:00

Sodoku Ninja delivered a level 3 in Thursday's RedEye and after 45 minutes or so of shouting out numbers at the Pig, KTB and I delivered the final blow. I also learned that, like me, math was KTBs favorite subject in school.

3 4 1 8 6 7 9 5 2
6 2 9 4 5 3 8 1 7
7 8 5 2 9 1 3 6 4
4 7 3 6 1 5 2 8 9
5 9 8 3 4 2 1 7 6
1 6 2 9 7 8 4 3 5
9 3 4 7 8 6 5 2 1
8 5 6 1 2 4 7 9 3
2 1 7 5 3 9 6 4 8

This morning the Western station was out of RedEyes so I ended up empty-handed for the sodoku ride home today. Instead of becoming angry, I instead found an online version that I could print for long train ride (20 minutes). You can play sodoku, too!

Mex I Can't

2005-08-26T14:45:00.000-05:00

A summary of my lunches from this past week, entitled Aye Carumba! Something Needs to be Changed:

M - QDoba (naked chicken burrito)
T - Chipotle (carnitas burrito bol)*
W - QDoba (naked steak burrito)
Th - Chipotle (chicken fajita bol)**
F - QDoba (chicken burrito)

* = comped
** = with Cubbie

Ok, More Decisions, Double Your Pleasure

2005-08-26T09:57:00.000-05:00

Decision 2: How to use my Discover CashBack Bonus

Background: Discover card offers cashback bonus (approximately 1% on all purchases made) for all credit purchases made. After accruing $20, the credit card holder holds the option to trade back this cash bonus for an additional amount toward gift certificates or charities. Currently I have $20 of flexible cashback in my account. Typically I have used this money as a $20 for $25 at Borders Books and Music, with the realization that I am not maximizing my full monetary bang. Thusly, I have decided to lay out all of my options electronically. Tryly one of life's tougher decisions. The big problem is that I can always use a lawn mower, a rental video, a basket of shrimp scampi, or a pair of sunglasses to go on my Caribbean cruise.

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Hyatt® Hotels & Resorts
Lawn Boy®
Lobster Gram®
Maytag
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Turn Your $20 Reward into $25
Ace Hardware
Bed Bath & Beyond®
Bennigan's
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Borders Books & Music®
Buca® di Beppo
Champs Sports
Foot Locker
Gap Lands’ End®
Ponderosa Steakhouse
Red Lobster
Staples
Steak & Ale
Stuart Anderson’s Black Angus/Cattle Company
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Junior Achievement
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The Biggest Splash in the Chicago River Since DMB Released Their Septic Tanks off a Bridge into the River

2005-08-25T10:30:00.000-05:00

I am going to have to take a quick break from decision week to spin you a yarn. I promise that more pressing discussions of impending life decisions will soon follow. They really have to because I am seriously searching for some trustworthy advice.

Anyway, my lazy friend and I embarked on a 6 mile kayak trip on the Chicago River yesterday evening. This journey started from approximately North and Ashland on the North Branch and flowed down to the mouth of the river at Navy Pier. We cast off with a group of about 25 and the weather was perfect. The row was gorgeous, our path winding right along the city lights and skyscrapers. They shared their vibrance with tall bright reflections lining our course. At night most of the Chicago River trash became invisible, too, adding to the calming scene. Unfortunately, the thick heavy smells don't hide the same way during the night, reminding you that your urban bliss is quite contaminated.

As the tale goes, we arrived in front of the big ferris wheel just before fireworks with ample time to rest our arms. My lazy friend and I rafted our kayaks, and as we made a slow turn for a better view, my kayak and I took a roll and a spill. My lazy friend remained high and dry in her kayak.

I did not get cholera, but submerging in the Chicago River is pretty gross if you think about it.

Decision Week 2005

2005-08-22T15:14:00.000-05:00

As sure as the last full week of August graces us around this time of year, without fail comes Decision Week. During Decision Week this year I will be sharing key decisions that need or need not be made. I would love it if you would throw your intellectual weights onto my delicate balance. So we begin!

Decision 1: Which ‘el’ stop to take from my apartment

Western (4645-49N 2400W) v. Rockwell (4648N 2600W)

Background: Chicago’s Brown Line ‘el’ train provides frequent train service from the near north and northwest side into Chicago’s industrious loop. I take the line daily from my Lincoln Square apartment into the young and modern Lincoln Park. Approximate time of travel is 20 minutes. My apartment is located between these two stops.

Western! Manifest destiny!

Western Pros:
1. Walk East to train (in direction of travel when going to work)
2. Physically closer than Rockwell stop by an estimated 40 yards
3. Pass by more people and industry on walk
4. Can window shop at Payless Shoe Store
5. On summer Tuesday mornings pass by Lincoln Square farmers market
6. Dunkin Donuts located at train station

Western Cons:
1. Sometimes have to wait at busy intersections during walk
2. Buses occasionally will drop off a dozen or so passengers that make a crowded entry
3. Have to watch CTA employee flirt with same woman every morning
4. Air is less refreshing

Rockwell. As American as apple pie.

Rockwell Pros:
1. Walk requires passing through one quick signal light (vs. 2 long ones)
2. Train is at the aesthetically pleasing street level
3. Walk is very residential with strong community feel
4. Can consider getting coffee every day at Beans and Bagels
5. Always lots of room on platform
6. More seats available at the time of entry on train

Rockwell Cons:
1. Walk west to get to the train (against direction of travel when going to work)
2. Physically further than Western station by estimated 40 yards
3. Cannot run to train when you see it coming because when the train is at street level large pedestrian gates come down several seconds before train arrives

I think this debate comes to the question of form (Rockwell) v. function (Western), country mouse (Rockwell) v. city mouse (Western), Norman (Rockwell) v. the omelette (Western).

Indoor Fireworks

2005-08-18T13:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I bore witness to a very beautiful concert. Laura Cantrell graced us with her Nashville come NYC country charm and city wit. Beautiful melodies accompanied with guitar, mandolin, and string bass. And, by the way, yesterday I fell in love with the bowed bass. Real country music has so much to offer. Great stories, good people, and music for the sake of music. One of Laura Cantrell’s songs from her new CD is a song that her aunt collected as a schoolteacher years ago, taking a trip into the Eastern Tennessee Appalachians to capture some pieces of American folk history. Rawk!

I also did something that I hadn’t done in a long time and that was grab a copy of the setlist after the show. This was mostly because it just looked like it was sitting there unloved and what better than to give it a good home. The last one I grabbed was after an Elliott Smith show in May 2000.

I realized today that in the past year and a half I have bought records from Laura Cantrell, Neko Case, Lucinda Williams, Rilo Kiley and Joanna Newsom. Am I losing my edge?

Brownies Song

2005-08-16T01:40:00.000-05:00

With one friend off to Barcelona last week and one back from L.A. today, I am reminded of the importance of friendship. Valuing friendship is a key lesson that I learned from the Girl Scouts. For some reason (and I really can't remember why now) in the early '80s I had been subjected to more than a few hours of Rinabean's Brownies sessions at the Bethany Baptist Church. Anyway, here are the relevant friendship lyrics:

Make new friends and keep the old
One is silver and the other's gold
(Repeat x150)

I also found a very appropriate picture of the friend triumvirate mentioned above. I think this photo is from winter of 2000, which is unbelievably more than five years ago.

This "action shot" was taken right after a big snowfall fight, which is why our shirts are off.

Action Heights

2005-08-15T13:12:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a very perfect Sunday both in productivity and fun, leaving me today both sore and refreshed and with a clean car. After waking up early and cleaning my own house, I made the drive to Arlington Heights for the day. Here's what got done:

1. Talked to P.J. and A.C. on the ride up
2. Ate granola cereal and very big glass of milk
3. Went for a run
4. Lifted for a few minutes at the Wellness Center
5. Played tennis
6. Helped unload a car
7. Walked to the store to buy mangoes
8. Helped make mango salsa
9. Washed the Escort
10. Vacuumed and cleaned interior of Escort
11. Watered plants
12. Went grocery shopping at Jewel Osco
13. BBQ'ed! (favorite part)
14. Washed and folded two loads of laundry
15. Ate half birthday key lime pie
16. Talked to Super Rud on the way home

I categorize this day as outrageously awesome.

Sodoku!

2005-08-12T10:20:00.000-05:00

Firstly, I apologize for the hiatus.

Secondly, what's with this new Sodoku craze? For those of you that don't know, sodoku is the fill in the numbers puzzle that anyone who is anyone tries to tackle on their morning or afternoon commute on the CTA. This puzzle can be found in the Chicago RedEye and probably appears in papers across the country. They come in five flavors: Level 1, Level 2, Level 3, Level 4, and Level 5. My favorite is Level 2, but I'm sure that I may be singing a different tune as my sodoku skills are honed. Also, I haven't figured out if the RedEye is gaining popularity (or accpetance), but I definitely have been seeing a lot more of it lately. My mother's intuition tells me that this is most likely because I live further down the brown line, where the comp copies flow like the North Branch of the Chicago River.

Well, this Sodoku craze has even infiltrated such intellectual fortresses like Borders Books and Music, where I saw a whole shelf and display devoted to this puzzle. This finding begs the question whether this is a national craze or rather just limited to the upper midwest?

Also, P.J. (my father, not Panama Jack for those of you who are browsers of @rinabean) was in the audience for the taping of the Too Late Show with Adam Corolla two days ago. They shot two shows that afternoon, one that was aired last night and one that will be aired tonight on Comedy Central (11:30/10:30). P.J. will be wearing a navy shirt and might be included in a shot when they pan the audience. He said that the guest was this guy that always wears a shirt that says GO?, has made his career by being an irritating comedian, and has been seen by P.J. in a hundred different things. Whatever that means.

West Side

2005-08-08T14:17:00.000-05:00

Sauntering away from the Western Brown Line platform with a new pair of navy Reefs on my dogs, minding my own business (of course), I heard a voice from my left, "Did you finish from there?" The woman was riding up the escalator as I was plodding down the adjacent stairs. To which I responded, "From the brown line? Yes, I did. Outbound." She says, "No. Your shirt. I went to school there, and you didn't, did you?" I of course replied with a negative response, only to receive a harsh-toned, "I think it is a very strange thing that you are wearing that."

This all happened yesterday when I was wearing my orange Gary, Indiana West Side High School Class of 1980 t-shirt. When I am wearing it, I always get two questions. The first is, "Where is your name?" The second is always, "Have you ever run into anyone from that high school?" My answers are usually back of the shirt 2/3 of the way down, and no and i don't think that i ever will.

So this was pretty much unprecendented. I wonder if she knows 1980 class president Max Wolverton.

Nice Day for a Live Wedding

2005-08-04T16:58:00.000-05:00

Pavelist has been showing its age for quite a few years now, but still it has resolutely held on to its geekiness. Today one of the long-time listers invited all the rest of the listers (even lurkers) to his wedding. His marriage will be webcast live (from Vegas) from the Little Chapel of the Flowers. Now this chapel not only hosts "elegant traditional weddings", but Bride's Magazine has also recently entered the growing circle of raves. "Little Chapel of the Flowers has the prettiest decor of any free-standing wedding chapel in Las Vegas". Bar none.

So if you are in the mood for a tasteful 8-10 minute ceremony, you can catch a digital replay of any of the free weddings at the Little Chapel website at almost any time. However, if you happen to be really lucky and tune in at the right time, you may also be able to witness one of the live weddings, which usually happen at the change of the hour. Make sure you have a box of Kleenex ready before you surf on in, because the waterworks don't always run on schedule. Now, I have not been able to listen to any of these broadcasts with sound. This is due to the fact that I am at work and did not bring headphones with me today. I have not been here long enough to explain watching weddings at work. I can promise, though, that the digitally streamed emotions and camera fades were worth every second of my time.

Incidentally, this pavelister has also shared the music that will accompany his ceremony. Big surprise.

1. Processional - Mark Mothersbaugh - "Loquasto International Film Festival"
2. Lighting of the Unity Candle - John Holt and the Paragons - "Darling, I Need Your Loving"
3. Exit Music - White Stripes - "Hotel Yorba"

Dollar Steals

2005-08-03T10:24:00.000-05:00

Having decided that it is time to further explore my new neighborhood, I made two key stops at nearby emporiums to extend myself into the local community.

The first was into "Dollar Deals: Nothing More than a Dollar" on the way home from work. I grabbed a basket and took a few minutes to peruse the shelves. Although I came home empty-handed (good thing), I would like to mention some items of note, those that I consider to be a really good bargain:

1. Worcestershire sauce (regular-size bottle)
2. Slim Jim beef jerky 5-pack
3. 500 piece puzzle
4. Toilet plunger
5. Randall Cunningham autobiography: "I'm Still Scrambling"

Later in the evening, I stopped in the ice cream shop/candy store "Pudgies", which is located right down the street. Although the gelato was a temptress, the sorbet looked even better and I had a good mix of the mango (sharp and tart yet smooth) and coconut (sweet and silky). The candy selection and staff were great and it has easily become my new favorite local establishment (formerly a tie between The Grind Cafe and Laurie's Planet of Sound).

What Happened? (Part 2)

2005-08-02T15:45:00.000-05:00

Well, in talking to one SuperRud last night, I realized that I need to finish my story of the Lollapalooza music festival.

Saturday July 23 (cont.):

4:30-5:30: This hour saw the epic battle between The Bravery and Cake with my overheated body choosing the Race Car Ya Yas of Cake. I hadn't listened in a while, but the detached speak-singing of John McCrea was kinda cool as was the overused rattle snake sounding instrument that I know you know. I left a little bit before the hour ended to head over to the next stage, so I could get a better spot to catch a glimpse of the legendary, pioneering, ass-kicking Billy Idol.

5:30-6:30: Now Billy Idol surely provides the most supreme fun writing experience from the entire Lollapalooza festival. I know I don't need to tell you this, but his show included classic punk rock moves, him ripping off his sexy shirt three times (with minimal costume changes in between), and Billy exclaiming "In 1982 this pinky finger was up Madonna's ass!" He then rocked straight into "White Wedding", heavy showers were summoned from the sky, and the moment was perfect. Beyond being a rock star and sexy throughout his performance, Mr. Idol also kept throwing what looked like paper plates into the crowd, and I have no idea what they actually were, but can only imagine that they bore his autograph. So, yes, this performance was worth every penny of admission. Unfortunately it was every bit tragic as it was dynamic.

6:30-8:45: The initial plan here was to run to the water closet for a restroom break, before heading back to the stage for a good spot to see the 8:30 Pixies. Unfortunately the lines were long and the bathroom process ended up spreading out across and entire half of one hour. Worse than that, however, I ran into Cliff's daughter in the bathroom line (who was queued two lines away) and was forced into 20 minutes of shouting small talk. Luckily by the time I got back to the stage I was able to sneak my way up to near the front of the building crowd for what would be my favorite performance of the weekend. This rock 'n roll extravaganza matched that of the Pixies reunion tour. The numbers for this show were obviously a lot bigger, and I thought the audience was no less entranced. Most importantly, the show really did rock as hard. Kim Deal had a silly grin on her face for the entire performance, which made me feel really good about helping make her feel good. I can tell you that Kim was not smiling that same way when I saw her on the Breeders reunion tour. And, oooh, I just love that "Debaser".

8:45-9:30: Caught some of Weezer, but honestly I was pretty worn down by that point. I guess maybe I should have caught some of the Digable Planets as well, but goddamn those half japanese girls do it to me every time.

And then I left Lollapalooza to have a wonderful evening at the Hungry Brain. Just as day one ended, so came day two. A day whose tale I will have to weave on another occasion. These are the days of our lives.

The Waters of Alcatraz are Ruff

2005-08-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

I got this hot story from a lazy friend yesterday...

This year's 10th annual 1.2 mile Alcatraz swim featured a very special 65 lb contestant. Enter Jake the golden retriever, the first dog known to ever complete a swim across the channel.

Bill Wygant, president of the South End Rowing Club, said he was more than happy to allow a dog into the race, a first for the more than 100-year-old group. "This swim is about personal challenge," Wygant said. "Whether you are dog or human, it's whatever you can achieve that counts.'"

At 41 minutes and 45 seconds, Jake finished 72nd out of 500 competitors (499 human).

The crowd cheered as the 4-year-old pooch made his way onto solid ground, shaking sprays of water and dodging a woman who tried to put a medal around his neck.

Jake always eats a large meal of scrambled eggs before swimming.

Lone Star Brews

2005-07-29T10:14:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how I missed this call last night. Trasncription doesn't do it justice.

You have one new message, sent today at 1:46 am.

Gurs, I just got your message. I’ve been drinking at the L & L all night with Brian, and it was goood. Two Dollar and fifty cent Lone Star brews. So good. Straight from Te-Has. Tasty on the tongue. If you know what I mean, son. Anyway, listen up, man. I won’t be able to be meeting you for drinks tonight at Simon’s because right now its way late and Simon’s is probably closing. But anyway I want to tell you this. There is some fuckin’ hot shit going on Saturday, and I don’t know what you are doing, but Brian and I are going to be at the Taste of Lincoln during the day, eating corn dogs and drinking beer and listening to bad street music. And then after that. Possibly. Maybe. We are going to go to the Congress Theatre, and we are going to listen to the fuckin’ Secret Machines. They are playing a show with Kings of Leon and The Shoutouts. They play second on the bill, which is alright, but not great, because they should be headlining. But Secret Machines have a rock show like none before. I mean, it’s fuckin’ a great rock show. Like you would seriously like it. I have seen them twice. They really know how to fuckin’ play their guitars. They only have one guitar each, y’know. They don’t have any guitar techs switching out guitars or any shit like that. They just fuckin’ rock. Its hard and its fast and its loud as possible. And that’s what I need right now. Some loud, hard rock n’ roll. So, my buddy, give me a call let me know if you are down for this fuckin’ Saturday fuckin’ clowning around. It’ll be good. Give me a call. Peace, brother.

The Breeders Were Almost Platinum

2005-07-27T10:04:00.000-05:00

This came across pavelist today and is record sales for alt/indie bands whose popularity peaked in the 90s. I am always interested in record sales and would love to see a list of GbV sales in comparison.

NIRVANA:
Bleach / 1.6 million
Nevermind / 8.2 million
In Utero / 3.9 million
Incesticide / 1.2 million
Unplugged / 4.5 million
Nirvana / 1.6 million

PAVEMENT:
Westing (By Musket and Sextant)/ 63,000
Slanted and Enchanted / 144,000
Watery, Domestic EP / 33,000
Crooked Rain Crooked Rain / 237,000
Wowee Zowee / 118,000
Brighten the Corners / 142,000
Terror Twilight / 96,000

SLINT:
Tweez / 24,000
Spiderland / 50,000
Slint (EP) / 19,000

PJ HARVEY:
4/Track Demos / 119,000
Rid of Me / 204,000
To Bring You My Love / 369,000
Is this Desire? / 163,000
Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea / 282,000
Uh Huh Her / 131,000

THE BREEDERS:
Last Splash / 987,000

SONIC YOUTH:
Sonic Youth / 4,100
Bad Moon Rising / 33,000
Confusion Is Sex / 41,100
Starpower / 1,000
Evol / 48,400
Sister / 72,000
Sonic Death / 5,500
Made In The USA soundtrack / 21,000
Daydream Nation / 162,000
Goo / 169,000
Dirty / 329,000
Experimental Jet Set Trash & No Star / 246,000
Washing Machine / 159,000
A Thousand Leaves / 66,000
Nyc Ghosts & Flowers 46,000
Murray Street / 63,000
Sonic Nurse / 65,000

Things that surprise me:
That Nirvana Unplugged outsold In Utero.
That Terror Twilight did not sell 100,000 copies.
That Slint never sold more than 50,000 records.
That Stories from the city was not P.J. Harvey's most popular.
That Sonic Youth sells so few records now.

Maddux, Rico, and Bean

2005-07-26T15:00:00.000-05:00

I am pretty excited because I scored tickets for tonight's Cubs v. Giants at Wrigley where Greg Maddux should get his 3KK (3000 strikeouts). 300 Wins and 3000 Strikeouts! How many times has that happened? Well eight and this would be nine tonight, but only if the predicted rains show some mercy on the good baseball fans this evening.

If memory serves me, I think Rico should be running the NYC marathon this weekend. Good luck to him and hopefully he is eating and sleeping well this week and not hooking up with too many girls. As soon as he crosses the finish line, you can count on him to sell you his 128 piece set. It might sound like a rip off until you realize that you get a miniature replica sailboat free with purchase.

Also, my sister has started her own page at http://rinabean.blogspot.com/, and I am overall happy about that because I've decided that it's important to me that I hear about her socially maladjusted co-worker everyday.

Addendum: I've just updated the link above so that it now works.

What Happened? (Part 1)

2005-07-25T14:14:00.000-05:00

This weekend was hot! Yesterday Ohare registered 102 and Midway at 104, which made this a festival of endurance. Rock 'N Roll prevailed and I ended up with a pretty hip butterfly burn across my face. I think I clocked in about 17 hours in the park this weekend, so I am going to try to do my best to chronicle this in short installations.

Saturday July 23:

11:30-12:30: Arrived at Grant Park and was able to enter pretty quickly. Saw the communist-infused Swedes, International Noise Conspiracy. They rivaled for having the most energy of the weekend. Lots of microphone tosses, dance moves, and Hives-esque rock. Their anti-capitalist ravings were a bit over the top, but their matching red and black outfits carried them through.

12:30-1:30: Sat down and watched M83 from a distance. This hour was excellent and I'm not sure if they are considered to be shoegazer, but I was staring at my flip-flops for sure.

1:30-2:30: And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead destroyed everything and was definitely my third favorite performance of the weekend. A pretty good crowd was starting to brew at this point. Dave noticed Beatle Bob dancing on the side in a powder blue suit, the first of many momentous sightings.

2:30-4:30: Walked around, ate a pulled turkey sandwich, and saw a bit of Liz Phair, the Kaiser Chiefs, and Brian Jonestown Massacre berating Dashboard Confessional. It is sad to see Liz Phair with her L.A. haircut and adult contemporary repertoire, but at least she's doing well for herself. I was happy to hear bits of 6'1" and flower as I was devouring my turkey sandwich. Brian Jonestown Massacre were introduced by Perry Farrell as revolutionaries, but I am really not sure of what. They whined and cursed in between all of their songs at Dashboard Confessional, who was playing at the larger stage, and while I am not an emotional 15 year old girl, I don't appreciate being mean to other bands. All the meanwhile Chris Carrabba of Dashboard repetitively thanked his fans and told them to make sure to say hi to him if they saw him walking around the park. I don't know what to say about that, but I can say that I was able to tell that he was dreamy even from 300 yards away.

Ok, i'm going to add to this as the next couple days goes along!

Lollapapreparation

2005-07-22T16:19:00.000-05:00

The anticipation has been so much for me. This Lollapalooza weekend should be great, with lots of friends from in-town and out, and hours and hours of music in the hot sun. Right in Chicago's frontyard in Grant Park. I'm only allowed to take in two sealed water bottles with me, so let's hope I don't shrivel up. I put together a little pre-festival summary and I am curious to see how it compares with what we get. I've starred bands that I've seen before, and since there are so few starred, this should be an extra-special virginal experience!

Bands I really want to see:
And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead*
The Arcade Fire
M83
Dinosaur Jr.
Pixies*
Spoon
Weezer

Bands I want to see:
Blonde Redhead*
Billy Idol
Cake
The Dandy Warhols
Death Cab for Cutie*
International Noise Conspiracy
Kaiser Chiefs
Liz Phair
The Ponys
The Walkmen

BandsI would see:
Ben Kweller
The Black Keys
Brian Jonestown Massacre
The Changes*
Drive-By-Truckers
The Killers
Louis XIV
Primus
Tegan and Sara
Widespread Panic

Bands I've never heard of:
Ambulance LTD
Blue Merle
The Bravery
Digable Planets
Kasabian
The Redwalls
Satellite Party
Saul Williams
The Warlocks

Bands I don't want to see:
Dashboard Confessional
G-Love & Special Sauce*
OK Go

More Sooty Business

2005-07-22T09:21:00.000-05:00

This is an addendum to the last post courtesy of the very sooty KTB.

Here's the link if you're having trouble reading below.

New Crayola Color: Horny Ram Red

2005-07-21T14:50:00.000-05:00

Last weekend right from the shepherd's mouth into my ears flowed the tale of Elmer the ram. Now Elmer was no average ram, and by the age of 4 months Elmer had already miraculously impregnated dozens of female sheep (aunts and cousins notwithstanding), when earliest normal age for all that ramplay isn't usually until 6 months of age. Well, Elmer was so special that when separated to mate with his chosen sheep, he impregnated all ten, which was unpresented on this farm. The poor shepherds couldn't keep track of all the impending labors and births and near drove themselves crazy.

Well, I guess the next best question is how do they normally keep track of all the due dates. Well, as I was told on that same morning, when the rams are normally placed to mate with their chosen sheep, their chests are covered with crayon. The evidence is left on the sheep's behind when the deed has been done, the pregnancy wheel is activated, and everyone is happy. However, a lot of questions have already been posed about this, and I think that they are all pertty good. Like, do all the rams have different colored crayons? And, how do they apply the crayon to the rams' chests?

As Groucho Marx Says...

2005-07-20T16:53:00.000-05:00

...I wouldn't want to be part any club that would have me as a member.

Likely to the dismay of the L.A. based Unstadt, I had never before seen a Woody Allen "film" until last night in Grant Park. I put the word "film" in quotes because that is the word that the L.A. based Unstadt would use instead of movie. Anyway, this film was spectacular. Woody Allen really is comically neurotic as he plays the male lead in "Annie Hall", and if you have any idea of what it's like to be a New Yorker or have any heart at all, I believe that you will enjoy this movie. I also think that Diane Keaton's acting was marginal, but that it only further contributes to the development of her raised in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin character. Living in Chicago, you have to wonder whether the NYC or the WI is closer to your experience, and I am not 100% sure either way.

Anyway, just like when I hear Bob Dylan, anytime I see Woody Allen, my mind immediately references the L.A. based Unstadt. So, as you can imagine, I spent most of my evening yesterday thinking about Unstadt. In addition, and I may have this all wrong, some birdie told me that one of the Daily Show producers is going to check out Unstadt's soon to open sketch comedy act. If that's true, that's not too shabby.

Temperature Control

2005-07-20T09:28:00.000-05:00

While the weather has been getting hotter and hotter, I have had to become cooler and craftier to deal with all the swelter in my apartment. I knew I had a problem this past Sunday evening when my sweaty return from Wisconsin was necessarily followed by an impromptu 45 minute trip to Blockbuster Video to cool off.

Last night I felt really comfortable in my house. Here's what I did. Shut all windows and blinds during the day and turned off all fans. Turned on fans when I came home, but kept the windows and blinds shut. At night, opened windows and ran the fans on high all night long. In the morning, reclosed all windows and blinds and turned off all fans. This all felt really good and I think I cracked the case.

In my internet cooling research, I learned that a ceiling fan can lower the ambient temperature below it by 4 degrees Fahrenheit. What a stud!

Welcome to the Belafonte

2005-07-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

I haven't even been thinking hard, but I have thought of a couple ways to spruce/fill up the walls in my family room. Both will be projects of at least moderate undertaking.

The first is to build a large-scale clock on the wall above my television. I haven't thought yet what to build the arms or numbers with yet, but have been more interested in trying to figure out where to acquire the appropriate motor, gears, and building plans. Any leads or ideas are greatly appreciated.

The second is to recreate a to-scale cross-sectional representation of Wes Anderson's ship, "The Belafonte", from the 2004 smash "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". I don't know exactly what the medium will be, or if I will even have the panache to pull it off, but I am pretty sure that this undertaking should be very fun. Despite acquiring a small drawing of the Belafonte with which to work, I am still afraid that this project might really suck. If, however, the seas (Lake Michigan, Chicago River) cooperate with me, she will be the jewel of Lincoln Square for sure.

Kentucky Zissou Fly.